pushing them away

hi, im peter.

im 22 years old. and im a teacher.
right now, im super-stressed and i feel that i am always tired.

im an aquarian, meaning i am intractable [aka stubborn], perverse [aka cranky], unpredictable [aka magulo ang utak], unemotional [aka manhid], detached [aka lutang ang utak], chaotic [aka warfreak] and rebellious [aka kontra bida].

in the chinese zodiac, im an ox meaning i am obstinate [aka makunat], pouty [aka laging nakabusangot], apathetic [aka walang pake], quick tempered [aka..."ano ba?! wag nga painitin ulo ko ha!"]

my bad traits are: i am friendly, truthful. im was born in 1985 making me a wood ox which is "devoted to those they love and make strong and affectionate friends and relations..."

my hobbies are stress-eating and being brutally frank to people.

actually, i like to shoo people by telling them things that would hurt their feelings. sometimes, i hurt their feelings by being mad at them by showing an angry face and yelling at them without a valid reason. also, there are times that i shoo away people by using what we have talked about in the past which emphasizes our bond, then twisting its reality so that it would end up that it is better that we should forget each other.

basically, thats my subconscious self-defense. i'd like to hurt their feeling so that they would get mad at me. so that they will have a reason to leave me and they will not feel anything when they discard me from their lives. so that when parting comes, ako lang ang malungkot...

its like i want to have the prettiest garden so i will plant many flowering plants. yet when these plants bloom and they bear flowers that pleases me very well, i would pluck them all off and give them away. leaving me with a barren lot...

~ ~ ~

im so pagod!

scenario...

freaking cream, ruining my life!

im so galit right now, i just want to vent out!


I HATE THE CREAM! they make my life miserable! who on earth lets their parents log-on their yahoo messenger id?! sa cream lang yan! anakanangpu@#$#%@#$%$@#! nakakainis talaga.

and everyone seems to talk about things that they should not make pakialam. as if naman mamamatay sila pag hindi nila nalaman. kaya lumalaki yung issue eh, pinag-uusapan pa. kaya natatakot maging 'totoo' ang mga kaklase nyo kasi konting pagbabago lang sa kilos pinupuna nyo agad, ginagawang big deal. mga chismoso/-sa talaga! kaya kayo nagkakaplastikan eh. bwiset!


this will be the last time i will make pakialam sa inyo.

you know me, mahilig akong mangdamay. kasalanan ng isa, kasalanan ng lahat. kapag naka-receive ako ng complaint sa parent dahil sa katangahan ninyo, UBER DEAD. lets start to forget each other.

nakakainis! ayaw ko na makialam sa buhay ninyo. for once, i tried to make someone realize something in their life that is good and yet it BLOWS UP IN MY FACE.

poohtek!

~ ~ ~


namimiss daw. baka namimis painitin ang ulo ko. dont worry, you guys still do.

ELEL

~ ~ ~

freaking cream!

im so angryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

honto no kimochi

Riaru na mahou ni
Kakatta mitai ni
Kono mune ni yakitsuita
Mabushii egao
Like having been enchanted
By real magic
A dazzling smile
Scorched my chest

Dakedo au tabi ni
tsun tsun tsumetakushichau no
Naze dare yori
Kini naru no ni
Ijiwaru wo shichau darou
But every time when we meet
I’d get all cross and cold
Why is it that even though I worry more about you than anyone else
I only tease you about it?

Hontou no kimochi
Setsunasa no kakera ga
Kono kokoro no ichiban oku
Kimi wo yondeiru yo
Zero kara hajimaru hi wo
My true feelings-
The crystal of my pains
From the greatest depths of my heart
Is calling for you
For the day we start to zero

Sasayaka na kisoki
Nemuri ni tsuitara
Futari wa yume no naka de
Yoiso teitta
A meager miracle
Is when I fall asleep
We snuggled up against each other
In my dream

Hoka ni mo takusan
Suteki na hito wa iru no mie
Naze kimi datte
Tokubetsu nano
Hoka no dare mo tawarenai
Even though there are plenty
Of other wonderful people
Why is it that only you are special?
No one else can replace you

Hontou no kimochi
Yasashisa wa agetai
Shiroi tsuki ni
Inori da nara
Jumon wo tonaeru yo
Sunao ni nareru you ni
My true feelings
Wants to give you kindness
While I pray to the white moon
I chant a spell
So that I can be honest

Hontou no kimochi
Setsunasa no kakera ga
Kono kokoro no ichiban oku
Kimi wo yondeiru yo
My true feelings-
The crystal of my pains
From the greatest depths of my heart
Is calling for you
For the day that starts from zero

Hontou no kimochi
yasashisa wa agetai
Yowake no hoshi
Uinku shite
Watashi ni unatsuita
Ashita ga hajimaru yoko
My true feelings
Wants to give you kindness
The daybreak stars wink
And bow to me
When tomorrow starts…

the shirt with two collar...

its a common mistake for most people to be very courageous in front of situations because they think "marami na akong napagdaanan! madali na lang para sa akin yan..." then again maybe not. as what my professors in education at la salle used to say "learning is a life-long journey," i have been surprised by many firsts today. here are some:

first level mass of the first years
i was very surprised at them for it was like i was attending a baccalaureate mass (minus the standing/sitting at the same time). everyone was singing loudly. everyone was responding loudly. it made me so happy inside, it me cry. kidding! but really, it really made me glad. but there was one regret that i had. i did not affirm their good deed. i mean, something held me back from speaking at the pulpit right after the closing song ends.

first time i got home at 4pm!
i'd like to relax from this week's work. that's why everytime i am on my way to pasig on fridays, i look very grumpy and i have this attitude of getting irritated to anything that gets in my way of getting home fast. from stupid long lines of traffic due to some stupid big trucks, to annoying security guards that are pretending to do their job and poking around people's luggage before entering the mrt or the mall therefore causing ridiculous long lines of sweaty people. i hate it. yet im home, gotta stop complaining and indulge once again, in an internet spree - annoying student (not all students) free - weekend with my dog momo (moe-moe).

first time someone deleted himself from friendster before i delete him
when you get me mad, you get me mad. period. and you wont hear the end of it. i was talking to iman the other day, and he mentioned one of her ex-classmate. i am pretty much agitated by this one, a little outside motivation would really blow me up, and what iman told me did the job. i mean, come on! di nyo ba alam na pinaghihirapan kong isipin ang gagawin ko sa harap nyo, para lang hindi kayo antukin? baduy pala hala ha. tignan natin. buti na lang dinelete mo na sarili mo sa list ko, inunahan mo na ako. hindi nga tayo friends eh, kahit sa cyberspace ayokong maging friend kita.

first time of buying such a cool shirt
i love that shirt and yet everyone has something negative to say about it. but i love it! and its my 800 pesos! so back off.

~ ~ ~

SHOCKING!

i found my blog site in the seton notes' computer. im like "EEP!"

please, to all people who are reading that is below 17 yrs old (the quota went up) military secrecy

"what i see, what i hear, when i leave i leave it here."

ok?

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo?