helping

it is 4:20 pm in the afternoon and i feel very depressed.

"ang hirap kunin ng kiliti ng boys ng camiguin. kakaiba sila kasi sa batch nila a**** at sa batch nila c******* boys muna yung una kong nakakausap bago yung girls." i once told a friend.

and it seems i was right. well except for 4 or 5 of them. but for the rest, i guess we dont really click.

~ ~ ~

they say that we need our friends to help us in our time of need. they also say that true friends help each other in good times and in bad.

events recently made me realize that there is such a thing as helping and over-helping a.k.a. meddling. i think the depression that im feeling now is my own fault for being too "pakialamero." and events led me to see that there are people who are hard to reach out to.

i tried helping. i even sacrificed my friendship (by telling a lie) to see if something will happen. but i guess there was no "friendship" that was sacrificed. it was a one-way friendship, from me to that person. in the cyberworld, there was a different person - trusting, nice to talk to - but in the real world - nothing.


"kwentuhan mo naman ako, ano ba nangyari?"
"..."
"bakit hindi ka nagsasalita, nahihiya ka ba sa akin? bakit pag sa ym, di ka ganyan? hindi ako teacher dito ngayon. kaibigan mo ko. kausapin mo naman ako."
"..."
"alam mo bang di ako makatulog nung sinabi mo na galit ka. kasi nalungkot ako..."
"..."
"ganito na lang, gusto mo bang magkwento sa akin o ayaw? at wag mong takpan bibig mo..."
"*shakes head*"

it hurts me SO MUCH when people show two-different faces at me. they act like they like me at one point and otherwise in another. but experiences from the past told me that i should not let those "two-faced people" should not make me hate the whole of the group that he or she belongs to. i have still my girls with me (and some of the boys). and i gues that makes my time worth spending with my one of my most favorite groups in school.

Lilliane, im SOO sorry. read my friendster comment. i am so so sooo sorry. im not fair to you. maiintindihan mo rin ako balang araw alam ko. and i wont be surprised kung magagalit ka sa akin dahil hindi ako fair.

~ ~ ~

1. double-clicked yahoo messenger icon
2. clicked ***_***_** > press delete
3. went to messenger > preferences
4. highlighted "ignore list" then clicked "add"
5. put in ***_***_** then clicked "ignore" button
6. clicked "apply" then "ok" button


you have been ignored. nagpaalam na ako sayo.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

~ ~ ~