lets be friends on computer # 27

nasabi ko na.

at yan ang sagot.

pero ok lang. masaya ako. promise! i felt more happier.

at least alam na nya. at nakuha ko na rin ang sagot ko. :)

ill never forget this day. :D

~ ~ ~

crush kita. pero mas malalim. haha.

first goodbye

maybe i you knew the way i felt
got to know just what i thought of you
that person with you, it would be me

we'd think the way back home is paradise
eating ice cream wherever we go
and everything we'd talk about

i need to think of somethin else
for my delusions would not end this way
--forget it all right now!

so in the end i didnt say
although i think its fine this way
that all my love is for you

i would pretend to look off into space, all the while i watched you
love hurt so much i took off at a run
i miss you, baby

love, to me, is nothing but the ghastly cause of jealousy
now you see, i had to get away from here
so good-bye
bye, first love

its just we got to know each other well
all the things that we would laugh about
just you and me, they were the same

i though i was the perfect one for you
but ive this way too many times
for everyday, id waste away

i have to keep myself intact
and treat tomorrow as a brand new day
--- restart hallelujah!

although i feel a little down
you'll never see me with a frown
i feel surprisingly good

if hearts can change then maybe there's a chance
for a new tomorrow
ill turn around and flash a sign of peace
and go
go my way

Love really is quite inconvenient, does not follow reason
in that case, why not just have fun with it
get many many times

i'd like to gaze, to watch, to look at you, so why cant it happen?
love hurt so much i took of at a run
i miss you, baby

gusto na kita.

GUSTO NA KITA
by 6cycle mind

Ilang oras na akong 'di makatulog
Paulit-ulit lang naman ang reklamo

Gusto lang kitang makalimutan
Gusto lang kitang makalimutan

Pa'no ba binabago ang ihip ng hangin
Kung saan ako sa yo'y di mababaliw
Bakit kung kailan gusto ko nang sumuko sayo
Lalo mo lang akong napapaikot

Chorus:
Gusto lang kitang makalimutan (2x)
Gusto na kitang makalimutan (2x)

malilimutan na kita forever..(2x)

Di ko na sisilipin ang friendster mo
Isasara ko na ang multiply ko
'Di ko na iintayin ang text mo
Wala nang sasagot, wala nang sasagot!!

Repeat Chorus

Ganyan ma-in-love , love, love...(4x)

~ ~ ~

ayoko na, suko na ako.
di ko na sasabihin.

sore loser.

ive had a lot of failures this year. and these realizations made me very very sad today. a day before the celebration of my birth. :(

of course, the first of the many failures when i was backstabbed by the people i "used to" love the most.

second, actually a recoil of that failures was the experiences that ive had this intramurals. i finally concluded that theyve changed, and seeing the faces of some made me boil up inside. they played dirty. they speak dirty during the games. and they did a lot of wrong things during the entirety of the ocassion and reasoned to people that it is rather good.

third, in spite of all the wrong things they have done, fate was still kind to them. ~_~ and this even proves even more to themselves that they are right in doing wrong. eh di mabuti, pinakita nyo sa amin na hindi nyo na talaga kami kailangan sa buhay nyo. di na natin kailangan ang isat-isa. kaya nating magwagi at maging masaya na wala ang isa't isa.

fourth, yet again they have proven that they have changed, to the once humble persons that we guided to the boastful and arrogant monsters that they are now. their gm's boasted what fate has given to them yet i know in my heart that a LOT of them dont deserve that victory because those lot were not 100% willing to practice anyway. a lot has even forgot or has delayed in their actions.

anyway, enough of them. i dont like them anymore, period. i feel that all greeting that ive received from them these past few days werent real. i feel like something was being said when my back is turned. and they even have this awkward silence whenever my name was called during the awarding. im like "whatever" inside anyway.

fifth , i feel disappointed with myself. from brigantes, to agrianes, to hamadryads the latest was my most favorite theme. from the jersey, to the cheer, to the formations, to the actions...everything (except the cheerdance costume. sorry, michael. ^^) i felt disappointed because i wasnt able to carry them to rank anything except 4th place. and what made it worst was that when the winner was being announced, us and them were compared. i just hated it. i felt that they kicked me between the eyes during that time.

anyway, on the other hand...

i feel super proud of the second years. they have proven to us that they have changed. that they have been reborn from the unruly agrianes to the united mohicans. they are well, and the most disciplined at that (you have the trophy to prove that to yourself).

dont believe the curse of the third years. as long as you know how to look back to your roots and you listen to your teachers, you respect them and each other. be humble and change for an even better batch, youll have good future ahead. continue to prove yourself, mohicans. do not be contented with what you have achieved now. do better next time...revere the story of the mohicans!!! the story is not finished yet...

mohicans, make me even more prouder.
kanlaon, thank you for making my freshmen at home during the intrams.

hamadryads, you will always be in my heart. and i will forever be mournful for i was not able to bring you anything glorious to celebrate about. i want you to take care of your relationship with the mohicans and most especially with your attitude towards your teachers and batchmates.

oh. and yes, i am a sore loser.



intrams fever 2009, signing - off.

~ ~ ~

back to normal na naman sa lunes. ~_~

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo?

last post before i go to sleep...

there have been many things that happened in my life. although it is not really enough, i can say that i have learned a whole lot whenever i look back at them. but there are those things that you thought that you have learned through them yet you find yourself in the same situation again, doing the same mistakes and hurting thinking how you are currently making a fool of yourself.

sometimes, we tend to misunderstand the actions of others. there are those times that we over-analyze and we become paranoid. there are those times wherein we think that an action of another is something that is not true especially towards us. and there are those times wherein we misinterpret actions of others as a sign of something special in our lives.

this week, there are things that happened that i thought it will not happen anymore. and as i type this blog post, i dont think that it will happen again. but that worry is overshadowed by the fun and happiness that i experienced on that day. i cant seem to let go of the happy moments together with them.

a simple chat over dinner, some sad sharings and a whole lot of laughing made it very worthwhile. and even after we parted ways, i texted and im-ed some of them. i miss them, i miss that group. i once said to one "siguro kung ka-batch nyo ako, sa grupo nila ako kasama..." and i still believe that that is true, because im having a lot fun when im with them and we share the same interests.

what i liked about that group is that eventhough they look like a couple of happy-go-lucky bunch of fellows, i felt that i was special to them and that they acknowledge me not only as ther former teacher, but also as a friend.

i was touched by one of them, because there was a time when i was told "idol kita sir eh..." when it was said, i thought it was a joke for it was accompanied by a joking smile and laughter but the statement was proven in more ways than one later on. then when we were chatting after our bonding time this week we chatted again...

"hindi mo na ako idol, kasi magaling ka na sa akin ngayon eh. ikaw na dapat ang idol ko."
"hindi sir, sayo ako natuto eh. idol pa rin kita."

"tamang-tama sir, ipagtatanggol kita sa mga nangaaway sayo."

its is very rare for people to say that to me. at isa lang sya sa mga taong nagsasabi sa akin ng ganun ng walang pagaalinlangan. salamat, dahil dyan sumaya ako. lagi mo naman akong pinapasaya eh.

~ ~ ~

always be there for me, my valiant crusader.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

walking empty shell...

being not myself lately. ive been getting energy and vigor from self-affirmation. telling myself "be energetic, be lively, be cool-headed." i think ive lost my self in the past 2 years that ive been teaching. before, i used to feel so fulfilled to teach. but now...i dont know whats happening to myself anymore. its not that i dont want to teach anymore, i still do. im still passionate about it. but people around me and things that are happening drowns me. like what ive said "mag-treading tayo sa dami!"

when somethings around me, i tend to look at myself. i want to be happy, i want to be satisfied at every end of the day. and i think im the one causing this.

i think what makes me sad is that i dont feel that i dont have any friend in my students anymore. i feel that i dont connect to them anymore. i feel that they only see me as a teacher ONLY now. and that i have completely failed my principles, what i have built during my days in college.

whats worse is that ive let people who are unworthy destroy my principles. in the end, i still cared and still gave them time that they did not deserve. i thought about them and how i have no love for them anymore. i was slapped in the face with my own concern and love.

i was looking at my multiply page. and i stumbled on old memories. "wala na akong memories, binura ko na" is what i said to one of them when we talked because i had a substitution for their club. and its kind of true, i am currently trying to forget anything memory that we have had two years ago. like what i told a friend, i dont know if they are good at all when they were in first year. they were my first batch, i dont have any basis of character. they were my first batch, wherein i have poured a lot of love and effort. wherein i have met a lot of good and caring people (or so i thought). in the end, there was the hurt.

and im being unfair to the others. ive let myself that is afraid to love and concern affect them and my concern for them. im afraid to reach out now because they might not let me anymore.
im afraid to try to change my kids to do good because they might fake it. im afraid to talk to them because they might not answer. im afraid to care because they might stab me at the back again.

i feel so depressed a lot lately. ~_~ although there are people who give a spark of laughter and joy once in a while, they are not enough to bring back the old me. maybe sir pj was right, i should build a new one. a new me. a better me. to make me happy again.

~ ~ ~

on a particular sunny day
happiness greater than magic
will pour down endlessly.
its not impossible!

~ ~ ~

gusto ko yun, magic!
- hahaha. sige sana matupad. salamat.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

on the verge of green and yellow...

what im asking for is a complete change for everybody. i just wanted everyone to be good and to please their teacher and be good little first year students.

everyone has done their part, all of us teachers. remind, lecture and be a guide to everyone on how to do their part as students, good students.

but in the end, what they want is still what they do. they say that they will follow and yet they do what they want.

so this is all i want to say...

gawin nyo pa rin ng gawin ang gusto nyo. sige, sinabi ko sumunod sa akin eh. kung ayaw nyo, eh di ok. madali naman ako kausap. alam nyo naman na kung saan kayo masaya, yun ang ibibigay ko sa inyo di ba? sinabi ko rin na ayaw kong mamilit, ang mga ayaw wag pilitin. so sige, wag pa kayong sumunod.

~ ~ ~

parang magagamit ko ulit yellow shirts ko this year.

<:-P

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo, my agrianes batch?