ewan ko. hindi ko alam.

ive learned to let go of the things that happened recently. i know that evil will happen all over again, im just hoping that renaissance would come soon.

~ ~ ~

it is already march 19. right now, im feeling empty. although there were quite a few good things that happened to me, there were also those that made me sad and worried. i guess i cant help being human, good things are given yet i take them for granted and makes a big deal of the sad ones. hay.

but i know that this emptiness has one root. i miss "someone." i miss this person VERY VERY VERY much. and i just hate this feeling. the feeling that you want to do something to ease the sadness, yet fate contradicts every step you take to make yourself happy. wah!

i want to cry, but my heart's already too tired to feel anything anymore. i want to reach out, but im afraid that you would get annoyed. i want to talk, but the only thing you answered to my questions was "ewan ko. hindi ko alam." i want to see you, but you wont let me.

a friend told me to move on, but not to close any doors. i am moving on, but i am afraid that i would lose this feeling. i am afraid that this feeling would die out, and that i would receive a new one from someone different. i would not like that. because eventhough you told me that i should not wait for you for you do not know if you will return for me, i am waiting. i am afraid that the time will come that you do return but the space for you has already been filled. argh! thats why i want to shun love away. hate you love, youre making my life difficult.

point is, i miss you. i miss you very much. but i guess, i should make myself contented seeing you in my dreams. seeing you smile, hearing your voice, and feeling your touch, things that now only in dreaming that i can achieve. maybe thats why my body has often been feeling sleepy. i want to sleep, a lot. i want a longer sleep, because maybe in the different flashes of dreams, one of them has you in it.

basically, i still want you. i want you back. hay.

~ ~ ~

till my heartaches end

i recall when you said that you would never leave me
you told me more so much more like when the time you whispered
in my ear there was heaven in my heart
i remember when you said that youd be here forever
then you left without even saying that youre leaving
i was hurt and it really wont be easy to forget
yesterday and i pray that you would stay
but then youre gone and oh so far away

i was afraid this time would come
i wasnt prepared to face this kind of hurtin from within
i have learned to live my life beside you
maybe ill just dream of you tonight
and if into my dream you come and touch me once again
ill just keep on dreaming
till my heartaches end

keep on dreaming
till my heartaches end

~ ~ ~

i think i already had enough of wrong grammars in this post, and im too lazy to edit. so ill stop na.