pasmado...

lets be friends on computer # 27

2009-02-26T22:12:00.002+08:00

nasabi ko na.

at yan ang sagot.

pero ok lang. masaya ako. promise! i felt more happier.

at least alam na nya. at nakuha ko na rin ang sagot ko. :)

ill never forget this day. :D

~ ~ ~

crush kita. pero mas malalim. haha.

first goodbye

2009-02-21T23:16:00.002+08:00

maybe i you knew the way i felt
got to know just what i thought of you
that person with you, it would be me

we'd think the way back home is paradise
eating ice cream wherever we go
and everything we'd talk about

i need to think of somethin else
for my delusions would not end this way
--forget it all right now!

so in the end i didnt say
although i think its fine this way
that all my love is for you

i would pretend to look off into space, all the while i watched you
love hurt so much i took off at a run
i miss you, baby

love, to me, is nothing but the ghastly cause of jealousy
now you see, i had to get away from here
so good-bye
bye, first love

its just we got to know each other well
all the things that we would laugh about
just you and me, they were the same

i though i was the perfect one for you
but ive this way too many times
for everyday, id waste away

i have to keep myself intact
and treat tomorrow as a brand new day
--- restart hallelujah!

although i feel a little down
you'll never see me with a frown
i feel surprisingly good

if hearts can change then maybe there's a chance
for a new tomorrow
ill turn around and flash a sign of peace
and go
go my way

Love really is quite inconvenient, does not follow reason
in that case, why not just have fun with it
get many many times

i'd like to gaze, to watch, to look at you, so why cant it happen?
love hurt so much i took of at a run
i miss you, baby

gusto na kita.

2009-02-17T18:13:00.000+08:00

GUSTO NA KITA
by 6cycle mind

Ilang oras na akong 'di makatulog
Paulit-ulit lang naman ang reklamo

Gusto lang kitang makalimutan
Gusto lang kitang makalimutan

Pa'no ba binabago ang ihip ng hangin
Kung saan ako sa yo'y di mababaliw
Bakit kung kailan gusto ko nang sumuko sayo
Lalo mo lang akong napapaikot

Chorus:
Gusto lang kitang makalimutan (2x)
Gusto na kitang makalimutan (2x)

malilimutan na kita forever..(2x)

Di ko na sisilipin ang friendster mo
Isasara ko na ang multiply ko
'Di ko na iintayin ang text mo
Wala nang sasagot, wala nang sasagot!!

Repeat Chorus

Ganyan ma-in-love , love, love...(4x)

~ ~ ~

ayoko na, suko na ako.
di ko na sasabihin.

sore loser.

2009-01-30T22:37:00.002+08:00

ive had a lot of failures this year. and these realizations made me very very sad today. a day before the celebration of my birth. :(

of course, the first of the many failures when i was backstabbed by the people i "used to" love the most.

second, actually a recoil of that failures was the experiences that ive had this intramurals. i finally concluded that theyve changed, and seeing the faces of some made me boil up inside. they played dirty. they speak dirty during the games. and they did a lot of wrong things during the entirety of the ocassion and reasoned to people that it is rather good.

third, in spite of all the wrong things they have done, fate was still kind to them. ~_~ and this even proves even more to themselves that they are right in doing wrong. eh di mabuti, pinakita nyo sa amin na hindi nyo na talaga kami kailangan sa buhay nyo. di na natin kailangan ang isat-isa. kaya nating magwagi at maging masaya na wala ang isa't isa.

fourth, yet again they have proven that they have changed, to the once humble persons that we guided to the boastful and arrogant monsters that they are now. their gm's boasted what fate has given to them yet i know in my heart that a LOT of them dont deserve that victory because those lot were not 100% willing to practice anyway. a lot has even forgot or has delayed in their actions.

anyway, enough of them. i dont like them anymore, period. i feel that all greeting that ive received from them these past few days werent real. i feel like something was being said when my back is turned. and they even have this awkward silence whenever my name was called during the awarding. im like "whatever" inside anyway.

fifth , i feel disappointed with myself. from brigantes, to agrianes, to hamadryads the latest was my most favorite theme. from the jersey, to the cheer, to the formations, to the actions...everything (except the cheerdance costume. sorry, michael. ^^) i felt disappointed because i wasnt able to carry them to rank anything except 4th place. and what made it worst was that when the winner was being announced, us and them were compared. i just hated it. i felt that they kicked me between the eyes during that time.

anyway, on the other hand...

i feel super proud of the second years. they have proven to us that they have changed. that they have been reborn from the unruly agrianes to the united mohicans. they are well, and the most disciplined at that (you have the trophy to prove that to yourself).

dont believe the curse of the third years. as long as you know how to look back to your roots and you listen to your teachers, you respect them and each other. be humble and change for an even better batch, youll have good future ahead. continue to prove yourself, mohicans. do not be contented with what you have achieved now. do better next time...revere the story of the mohicans!!! the story is not finished yet...

mohicans, make me even more prouder.
kanlaon, thank you for making my freshmen at home during the intrams.

hamadryads, you will always be in my heart. and i will forever be mournful for i was not able to bring you anything glorious to celebrate about. i want you to take care of your relationship with the mohicans and most especially with your attitude towards your teachers and batchmates.

oh. and yes, i am a sore loser.

intrams fever 2009, signing - off.

~ ~ ~

back to normal na naman sa lunes. ~_~

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo?

last post before i go to sleep...

2008-12-13T01:31:00.003+08:00

there have been many things that happened in my life. although it is not really enough, i can say that i have learned a whole lot whenever i look back at them. but there are those things that you thought that you have learned through them yet you find yourself in the same situation again, doing the same mistakes and hurting thinking how you are currently making a fool of yourself.

sometimes, we tend to misunderstand the actions of others. there are those times that we over-analyze and we become paranoid. there are those times wherein we think that an action of another is something that is not true especially towards us. and there are those times wherein we misinterpret actions of others as a sign of something special in our lives.

this week, there are things that happened that i thought it will not happen anymore. and as i type this blog post, i dont think that it will happen again. but that worry is overshadowed by the fun and happiness that i experienced on that day. i cant seem to let go of the happy moments together with them.

a simple chat over dinner, some sad sharings and a whole lot of laughing made it very worthwhile. and even after we parted ways, i texted and im-ed some of them. i miss them, i miss that group. i once said to one "siguro kung ka-batch nyo ako, sa grupo nila ako kasama..." and i still believe that that is true, because im having a lot fun when im with them and we share the same interests.

what i liked about that group is that eventhough they look like a couple of happy-go-lucky bunch of fellows, i felt that i was special to them and that they acknowledge me not only as ther former teacher, but also as a friend.

i was touched by one of them, because there was a time when i was told "idol kita sir eh..." when it was said, i thought it was a joke for it was accompanied by a joking smile and laughter but the statement was proven in more ways than one later on. then when we were chatting after our bonding time this week we chatted again...

"hindi mo na ako idol, kasi magaling ka na sa akin ngayon eh. ikaw na dapat ang idol ko."
"hindi sir, sayo ako natuto eh. idol pa rin kita."

"tamang-tama sir, ipagtatanggol kita sa mga nangaaway sayo."

its is very rare for people to say that to me. at isa lang sya sa mga taong nagsasabi sa akin ng ganun ng walang pagaalinlangan. salamat, dahil dyan sumaya ako. lagi mo naman akong pinapasaya eh.

~ ~ ~

always be there for me, my valiant crusader.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

walking empty shell...

2008-12-04T19:06:00.002+08:00

being not myself lately. ive been getting energy and vigor from self-affirmation. telling myself "be energetic, be lively, be cool-headed." i think ive lost my self in the past 2 years that ive been teaching. before, i used to feel so fulfilled to teach. but now...i dont know whats happening to myself anymore. its not that i dont want to teach anymore, i still do. im still passionate about it. but people around me and things that are happening drowns me. like what ive said "mag-treading tayo sa dami!"

when somethings around me, i tend to look at myself. i want to be happy, i want to be satisfied at every end of the day. and i think im the one causing this.

i think what makes me sad is that i dont feel that i dont have any friend in my students anymore. i feel that i dont connect to them anymore. i feel that they only see me as a teacher ONLY now. and that i have completely failed my principles, what i have built during my days in college.

whats worse is that ive let people who are unworthy destroy my principles. in the end, i still cared and still gave them time that they did not deserve. i thought about them and how i have no love for them anymore. i was slapped in the face with my own concern and love.

i was looking at my multiply page. and i stumbled on old memories. "wala na akong memories, binura ko na" is what i said to one of them when we talked because i had a substitution for their club. and its kind of true, i am currently trying to forget anything memory that we have had two years ago. like what i told a friend, i dont know if they are good at all when they were in first year. they were my first batch, i dont have any basis of character. they were my first batch, wherein i have poured a lot of love and effort. wherein i have met a lot of good and caring people (or so i thought). in the end, there was the hurt.

and im being unfair to the others. ive let myself that is afraid to love and concern affect them and my concern for them. im afraid to reach out now because they might not let me anymore.
im afraid to try to change my kids to do good because they might fake it. im afraid to talk to them because they might not answer. im afraid to care because they might stab me at the back again.

i feel so depressed a lot lately. ~_~ although there are people who give a spark of laughter and joy once in a while, they are not enough to bring back the old me. maybe sir pj was right, i should build a new one. a new me. a better me. to make me happy again.

~ ~ ~

on a particular sunny day
happiness greater than magic
will pour down endlessly.
its not impossible!

~ ~ ~

gusto ko yun, magic!
- hahaha. sige sana matupad. salamat.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

on the verge of green and yellow...

2008-11-21T19:18:00.002+08:00

what im asking for is a complete change for everybody. i just wanted everyone to be good and to please their teacher and be good little first year students.

everyone has done their part, all of us teachers. remind, lecture and be a guide to everyone on how to do their part as students, good students.

but in the end, what they want is still what they do. they say that they will follow and yet they do what they want.

so this is all i want to say...

gawin nyo pa rin ng gawin ang gusto nyo. sige, sinabi ko sumunod sa akin eh. kung ayaw nyo, eh di ok. madali naman ako kausap. alam nyo naman na kung saan kayo masaya, yun ang ibibigay ko sa inyo di ba? sinabi ko rin na ayaw kong mamilit, ang mga ayaw wag pilitin. so sige, wag pa kayong sumunod.

~ ~ ~

parang magagamit ko ulit yellow shirts ko this year.

<:-P

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo, my agrianes batch?

i found the song i was looking for, Lilliane. :]

2008-11-16T17:37:00.005+08:00

hajimete kimi to shabetta  kimi wa waratte kureta
hajimete kimi to shabereta  boku no kono kotoba de
       I talked to you for the first time, you smiled at me
             I was able to talk to you for the first time, with these words


boku nanka ga shaberi kaketara meiwaku ni omou ka na
sonna fuan o kakaete  yuuki o dashite mita yo
umaku shaberenai boku no fukiyou na hanashi
kimi wa mimi o sorasazu ni chanto kiite kureta yo
       If i spoke to you, you'd think im a nuisance
             Holding on to that uncertainty, i summoned my courage
             Im not good at talking and my words are clumsy
             But you gave your full attention and listened to me 

sore dake de boku wa mai agatteru no sa
fushigi na chikara ga karada o tsutsunderu kanji  ima dake sa
       Just like that, im up in the clouds
             But you dont think very much of me do you?

dakedo
       but

*hajimete kimi to shabetta  kimi wa waratte kureta
hajimete kimi to shabereta  boku no kono kotoba de
hajimete kimi to shabetta  kimi wa waratte kureta
hajimete kimi to shabereta  boku no kono kotoba de*
       *I talked to you for the first time, you smiled at me
              I was able to talk to you for the first time, with these words
              I talked to you for the first time, you smiled at me
              I was able to talk to you for the first time, with these words

kotoba wa itsudemo boku o kurushimete bakari
dakedo sukutte kureru no mo itsumo kotoba datta yo
dareka ni warawareta-tte kanawanai no sa
kimi to shabereta jijitsu ga boku ni wa tsuiteru kara
        Words give me trouble all the time
              But it's also always words that save me
              I don't care if someone laughs at me
              I have the fact that I was able to talk to you

sore dake de boku wa ukarete shimau no sa
dakedo kimi wa boku nante nantomo omottenai yo ne  setsunai yo
              I'm in a great mood, just because of that
              But you don't think of me in any way, that hurts

dakedo
        but

repeat *

~ ~ ~

song from naruto ending 8: hajimete kimi to shabetta

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo?

unknown soldier

2008-11-15T20:53:00.002+08:00

by breaking benjamin

Unknown Soldier - Breaking Benjamin Music Code

Borderline, dead inside,
I don't mind, falling to pieces
Count me in, violin, let's begin,
feeding the sickness
How do I, simplify, dislocate,
the enemies on the way

Show me what it's like,
to dream in black and white,
so I can leave this world tonight.

Full of fear, ever clear,
I'll be here, fighting forever
Curious, venomous, you'll find me,
climbing to heaven
Nevermind, turn back time, you'll be fine,
I will get left behind

Show me what it's like,
to dream in black and white,
so I can leave this world tonight.
Holding on too tight,
breathe the breath of life,
so I can leave this world behind.

It only hurts just once,
they're only broken bones,
hide the hate inside

(So I can leave this world behind)

Show me what it's like,
to dream in black and white,
so I can leave this world tonight.
Holding on too tight,
breathe the breath of life,
so I can leave this world behind

~ ~ ~

for all those who "left me behind..."

and took me for granted.

youre missing half of your lives. gg

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo?

an end to a happy week (plus quotes for kyla. LOLZ)

2008-11-15T00:27:00.003+08:00

this past week has been a blast. from monday to friday, it was something different. it was the first academic that i spent having the most fun days. looking forward to the next day, looking forward to the next topics to talk about.

most of the time it was fun, and then there were those awkward moments and then there were those laughter moments. this week was so balanced in all emotions that it is so perfect. when i look back at the happenings of this week, i really wish that i could go back and watch all of the things that happened.

basta, bottom line i was happy because i was able to talk to a lot of people, especially those that i really missed (kasi nagalit ako sa kanila for a looong time...)

and at the the very last hours of the weekdays, i found out something new and different about a person. a person that i thought was selfish, and self-centered was really a caring and selfless person who thinks and concerned a lot about others' feelings and how they are in their social life.

this week is so perfect. i love it.

~ ~ ~

quotes!!

You broke my heart. Now I'm gonna break something of yours!
- patrick star from spongebob squarepants, valentines day episode

That's why its called crush. Your heart gets CRUSHED in the end.

- mandy from the grim adventures of billy and mandy, happy huggy stuffy bears episode

You know he's not going to love you back...why are you falling for him?
- Nova from Magic Knight Rayearth episode 41

~ ~ ~

shoo, ex-students!

~ ~ ~

YOU are being ignored!!

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo?

helping

2008-11-13T16:19:00.003+08:00

it is 4:20 pm in the afternoon and i feel very depressed.

"ang hirap kunin ng kiliti ng boys ng camiguin. kakaiba sila kasi sa batch nila a**** at sa batch nila c******* boys muna yung una kong nakakausap bago yung girls." i once told a friend.

and it seems i was right. well except for 4 or 5 of them. but for the rest, i guess we dont really click.

~ ~ ~

they say that we need our friends to help us in our time of need. they also say that true friends help each other in good times and in bad.

events recently made me realize that there is such a thing as helping and over-helping a.k.a. meddling. i think the depression that im feeling now is my own fault for being too "pakialamero." and events led me to see that there are people who are hard to reach out to.

i tried helping. i even sacrificed my friendship (by telling a lie) to see if something will happen. but i guess there was no "friendship" that was sacrificed. it was a one-way friendship, from me to that person. in the cyberworld, there was a different person - trusting, nice to talk to - but in the real world - nothing.

"kwentuhan mo naman ako, ano ba nangyari?"
"..."
"bakit hindi ka nagsasalita, nahihiya ka ba sa akin? bakit pag sa ym, di ka ganyan? hindi ako teacher dito ngayon. kaibigan mo ko. kausapin mo naman ako."
"..."
"alam mo bang di ako makatulog nung sinabi mo na galit ka. kasi nalungkot ako..."
"..."
"ganito na lang, gusto mo bang magkwento sa akin o ayaw? at wag mong takpan bibig mo..."
"*shakes head*"

it hurts me SO MUCH when people show two-different faces at me. they act like they like me at one point and otherwise in another. but experiences from the past told me that i should not let those "two-faced people" should not make me hate the whole of the group that he or she belongs to. i have still my girls with me (and some of the boys). and i gues that makes my time worth spending with my one of my most favorite groups in school.

Lilliane, im SOO sorry. read my friendster comment. i am so so sooo sorry. im not fair to you. maiintindihan mo rin ako balang araw alam ko. and i wont be surprised kung magagalit ka sa akin dahil hindi ako fair.

~ ~ ~

1. double-clicked yahoo messenger icon
2. clicked ***_***_** > press delete
3. went to messenger > preferences
4. highlighted "ignore list" then clicked "add"
5. put in ***_***_** then clicked "ignore" button
6. clicked "apply" then "ok" button

you have been ignored. nagpaalam na ako sayo.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

~ ~ ~

a happy day in the agrianes shirt

2008-11-11T17:34:00.002+08:00

never thought i would have a happy and full-of-laughter day wearing my agrianes shirt.

today was officially day one of academic week, and we had the dasayawit contest for the first years today. i was amused at what they performed. it did not really anger me to see poor performances because i was kind of expecting it. and in a way i was really wishing for them to flunk at it to make them see that they cannot do it alone. that they cannot do a performance in the level of high school in what they know now. that they need me, they need the teachers to help them in their next big performance. cheering. sana lang ma-realize nila. *crosses-fingers* (although some teachers have already given up on them, but im prepared to fight a lonely fight for them :*> )

after the dasayawit, i felt hunger thats why i grabbed something to eat for lunch and then i proceeded to the auditorium to watch the math quiz bee. the quiz bee was very amusing. i had lots of laughs. especially the question:

"what is 20% of 10?" - only one team (out of five) got it right. hilarious.

most especially, i LOOOOOVE the intermission number. the highlight of my happiness and laughter was seeing that part. *ROFL* it's not the dance steps that is funny, its the no-dancing that's funny! i was even talking to this person in ym the previous day that he was very serious in dancing and learning the steps and then "that" happened. sooo powerful.

the quiz bee ended at around 3, and i have a class at camiguin from 3 to 4 during regular classes. so i went to their classroom hoping to chat with them. im having a difficult time finding a moment to talk with them because most of the time they are with their adviser, and i wouldnt want to steal that time with them which is more important.

anyway, when i got in i teased the "dancer" (LOLZ) but i think he was in a bad mood (or he was just being himself that time). so i did not mind him that much. but i got to talk with two of my most favorite persons in camiguin. and it was soooooo fun. because i learned a lot. (we'll get to the learning part later) it was so fun.

and then sir pj came in and talked with my favorite persons, then i saw "her." i approached her because in a way i feel sad for her. i know what it feels like to open a conversation and you get ignored. and when we are talking, people started gathering around me and the fun started.

~ ~ ~

what made me happy today:

- i verified who jacob is
- i knew who mr. x is
- i knew there were many who likes "dwarf"
- i knew there were many who likes jacob as well [how can you like someone with that hair?!]
- i knew that one who likes "dwaf" before likes jacob now
- i knew that one who likes "dwarf" now as likes back
- i knew that seatmate does not really hate seatmate but likes instead
- i knew that seatmate is badtrip at seatmate but seatmate does not really hate seatmate
- i knew that many people likes jacob
- i knew that annie batungbacal likes one of my sons [ >:) ]
- i knew that there are 3-month old lovers within, i thought it was joke ~_~
- i knew that one who likes "dwarf" has someone named "sweaty palms" @_@
- i knew that k likes a [hahaha ang obvious]
- i knew that annie batungbacal likes the super thin guy, my partner in crime. [LOLZ again]
- i knew that pseudo-emo guy likes darkness. haha. [ :X ]

and the most fun thing that i loved knowing today was that...

- cassy likes terrence. a lot. (oh yeah, cassy likes "dwarf" before too as well. ~_~)

im like so kilig at terrence and cassy right now.

~ ~ ~

high school love is sooooooooo fun. i miss high school days.

sana maulit, camiguin.

never thought i would have such fun today in this agrianes shirt. the shirtthat brought me lonelines at one point in my life.
~ ~ ~

sweaty palms is uber flattered with what he knew today. *hug*

~ ~ ~

shoo, ex-students

~ ~ ~

(isshouni asobo) let's play, camiguin!

farewell, my "ex-students"

2008-11-08T20:18:00.002+08:00

recent events (which few might know of) led me of being reminded that as a teacher, i am given a responsibility of being a second parent. but i was also TOLD that i have my limits too. such limits are that when the students that i have are no longer "mine" or i dont handle them anymore, again i have limitations with my relationship with the "ex-students."

i have been told (emphasis on the "told" ) that i should not anymore busy myself with my "ex-students." anything that would happen to them with regards to their attitude, self-discipline and becoming good persons should be left to their immediate teachers. i think this means that our relationship should be a shallow student-teacher type.

so to all my "ex-students":

talking with you has been fun. i thank you for the secrets shared, for the laughter moments and for the bonding time. i hope that you remember all that i have told you. even if we will still be seeing each other at school, greeting each other is the only thing that we can do spontaneously (well, aside from my club members). so again, i thank you. having you as my "ex-first year students" was a blast (yes, even the agrianes batch).

well, it has come to this. no regrets, as they say. besides, it was the "ex-student/s" who caused this to happen.

so please, im asking / begging my ex-students - no talk, no ym chat.

goodbye and goodluck.

~ ~ ~

... got a phony smile that makes you think he understands,
But no one ever gets the truth from plastic man.

~ ~ ~

first year is love! <3

let's cherish our moments with each other. 4 months left for us to bond. and after that, we'll part ways.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo, freshmen?

plastic man by the kinks

2008-10-29T23:39:00.001+08:00

A man lives at the corner of the street,
And his neighbors think hes helpful and hes sweet,
cause he never swears and he always shakes you by the hand,
But no one knows he really is a plastic man.

Hes got plastic heart, plastic teeth and toes,
(yeah, hes plastic man)
Hes got plastic knees and a perfect plastic nose.
(yeah, hes plastic man)
Hes got plastic lips that hide his plastic teeth and gums,
And plastic legs that reach up to his plastic bum.
(plastic bum)

Plastic man got no brain,
Plastic man dont feel no pain,
Plastic people look the same,
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kick his shin or tread on his face,
Pull his nose all over the place,
He cant disfigure, or disgrace,
Plastic man (plastic man).

Hes got plastic flowers growing up the walls,
He eats plastic food with a plastic knife and fork,
He likes plastic cups and saucers cause they never break,
And he likes to lick his gravy off a plastic plate.

Hes got a plastic wife who wears a plastic mac,
(yeah, hes plastic man)
And his children wanna be plastic like their dad,
(yeah, hes plastic man)
Hes got a phony smile that makes you think he understands,
But no one ever gets the truth from plastic man (plastic man)

Plastic man (plastic man).

*standing ovation*

~ ~ ~

next time ill find a song about snakes...

~ ~ ~

reading trish's blog inspired me to write again. but the plastic man song got me even more excited. ^^

isshouni asobo, plastic man!

codenames!!!

2008-10-24T00:44:00.002+08:00

it has been one of the oldest trick in the book. and it somehow evaded my mind in all these years to write a blog about something that happened and put them in codenames. woohoo!!

hurray for "trisha" (not her real name) for this codename thingy.

~ ~ ~

i talked with trisha recently. and i had fun. i actually removed her and her classmates from my list but when i made up with them, i added them again.

i had fun talking with her this time. to be honest, at the latter part when i was not being civil at all with their class, i am already trying to change my perspective towards her. yet when we talked, i was convinced that she really is a nice person after all. and i had fun talking with her, and reading her blog. although she has some flaws (everybody does) about her personality, i can kinda relate to her because as i see it, if an extreme side of me would take form, it would have her personality. haha.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo, baka kodomo?

most of the time im correct, you know!

2008-10-20T21:55:00.002+08:00

two person told me today "sir, tama kayo."

when i tell you something, especially if its a word of advice be glad for two things: 1.ibig sabihin close tayo and 2. i want good things for you

but sometimes there those who dont listen. its ok for me, its your life anyway. advices are to be there for your prerogative anyway.

basta dont be like cain in the bible story cain and abel...

cain became angry towards God because his offerings are not favored. but the things he offered are leftovers and ugly things. and he even became jealous and became angry at God.

Ok! so basically, here is being "cain" - you become angry over something that you did. example: bumagsak ka sa quiz kasi hindi ka nag-aral, tapos sisisihin mo teacher mo kung bakit ka bumagsak.

i think those kinds of people have something wrong with them. they get angry about something that is their fault. and they blame others for what they did. they get what they deserve (for the wrongdoings that they did) and then they respond differently.

three words: EWAN KO SAYO!

~ ~ ~

they say its ok to regret doing it that to regret not doing it.

but for me, i dont regret anything...

for it brought out the COLD, HARD, PLASTIC!!

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo, baka kodomo?

baka sabihin nyo hindi ko kayo love <3

2008-10-16T21:40:00.002+08:00

the happiness that i felt yesterday still extends to this day. i am so happy and glad that i have made up with camiguin. and it made me even more glad when sir paul told me that his advisory class was delighted about it. it just made me smile and feel good inside.

aside from that, it was my first time today to talk and laugh with some of the zdn boys. it was fun laughing at shallow jokes and gestures.

we learn to appreciate the good times because of the bad times. we learn to appreciate happiness because of the loneliness. we learn to appreciate those who are good because of those who make us feel unimportant and...evil.

once again, my detractors (like "francis) makes me appreciate the people around me. totoo nga ang sabi nila na you are able to find true friends in tough times. although i dont really consider this as a tough time, the detractors seem to bring them out.

i thank God for bringing me peace of mind and making me realize that things should always be looked at the bright side. sinasabi ko na lang lagi "if this is what God wants for me...go lang ng go!" i have become even more happy and excited because of the things that should make me sad.

my life truly is ironic.

~ ~ ~

baka sabihin nyo hindi ko kayo love!!

agrianes! fight win prevail!

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo?

happy day

2008-10-14T23:30:00.002+08:00

in one of my favorite-est (lol) movie Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, there is one conversation there that goes...

vincent to cloud: "why dont you try forgiveness sometimes..."

or something like that. :))
anyway, i have followed what vincent have said. and i think it is good. it feels good as well. :)

minsan, masaya rin pala na sinusunod mo yung sinasabi mo sa iba (or in my case, tinuturo ko). there were thoughts wherein i said to myself "baka naman sabihin nila, ganun ako kadaling bumigay..." and yet, i followed again what i have been saying to my students which goes "wag mo na pansinin ang sinasabi ng isa, basta gawin mo kung ano ang gusto mo at kung ano ang dapat..." and for the second time, i was right again.

i did what i should do, and in the end it felt nice... :D

~ ~ ~

lines that made me smile today:

- "nakakagulat nung tinawag ang pangalan..."

- "namiss ka namin..."

- "hindi ako papayag na i-hug mo ko..."

~ ~ ~

thank you aaron, vina, marion, nina, trixia and jomar. i shouldve called more pero i know na maiintindihan ng iba. yung secret natin ha, wag maingay. lets work together. ^^

ISSHOUNI ASOBO MINNA!

lets play harder this time! woohoo!

randomness...

2008-10-11T21:56:00.002+08:00

i really dont know what to write. and im kind of missing my chat box :(

the chatbox kinda connects mo to the readers that i have. but then again, it was destroyed. :(

~ ~ ~

hmmm.

i give up, i raised the white flag of surrender. i think that if i raised my standards even more to the kids that i have, it would only end up disappointing myself and making me mad everyday. so i decided to give up all hope of them changing for the good and just appreciate of who they are today. mahirap umasa, pero hindi ako galit. ang saya nga eh. minsan, in-e-enjoy ko na lang yung kakulitan nila. ayoko nang magalit, baka sabihin nila masungit ako. hahaha.

~ ~ ~

in the end, i had another useless post. masabi lang na nag-u-update. :))

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

multiple ZDN subbing...

2008-10-07T21:52:00.002+08:00

yesterday i subbed at ZDN for TLE. and today , i have subbed and exchanged period with sir edmond for Math.

i gladly accepted because i kind of liked the section. i mean in the first year sections, they are the few ones that i liked. (or most of the people in that section i liked, BUT NOT EVERYONE THERE)

but i almost snapped and lose my temper kanina kasi i was giving out these test questionnaire and there are these students who were playing with it and they kept on asking for more. heaven knows what they are doing. and the worst of it all (at yung pinaka-ayaw ko sa lahat) that they were giggling and they are making fun of the situation which is supposed to be serious (quiz kasi eh).

ayoko pa naman sa lahat yung ang lakas-lakas mo tumawa, di ka naman magaling sa klase. nakakainis.

but then, i remembered that started to have a know perspective about myself. that i wont make myself mad anymore about petty things, especially about the first years. i wont make myself mad for expressing who they are. i wont make myself mad kasi ganun talaga sila, mga bastos at walang pakundangan sa teacher. ine-e-enjoy ko na lang kasi sayang naman dun sa iba na mabait (oo, meron pa namang mabait) eh pag nagalit ako sa lahat pati sila nadadamay. deadma na lang. buti na ang may mga mabait sa akin (na konti lang kesa dun sa ibang ayaw sa akin).

bwahahahahaha.

~ ~ ~

i would like to thank pala "francis" or whosoever the person who ruined my chatbox (which caused me to remove it from this blog). you taught me to appreciate everyone, to be forgiving and showed me that there are a lot of person who loves me and cares for me than those who hate me. lalong gumaganda ang mga maganda dahil sa mga pangit na katulad mo. hahaha. thank you.

~ ~ ~

a quote from the Bible that summarize today's blog post...

Then Abraham approached him and said: "Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? Far be it from you to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?"

The LORD said, "If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake."

Gen 18: 23-26

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo! gambatte minna! (sa quarterly...)

a quote from last night's mel and joey...

2008-10-06T17:48:00.002+08:00

A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.

- John C. Maxwell

a very fitting quote for everything that happened.

im still waiting!

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

its not good to be angry, but it is right to be good!

2008-10-05T13:22:00.003+08:00

anger vented.

but being a human person (baka sabihin na diyos nga nagpapatawad, tayo pa kaya), i cant help but feel bad about persons that i loved especially when i hurt them.

i gave SDS countless chance before, so why stop now? well, i chance i will give but not that easy for the deed that they have done is great. because it did not only affect me, but in a way they have affected sir john, their own classmates and the whole grand rosary rally activity.

here are my conditions (subject to change):

1. i want a RADICAL change from the class. radical meaning something that will standout, something that will make people say "sila ba talaga yun?"

2. i want a change that will NOT EXPIRE. pang matagalan o at least hanggang matapos ang 4th year.

3. i want a change that will affect fellow SDS classmates, batchmate (bringing down the wall), and most especially teachers (former and present). i dont want the attitude that you are our equal for we are not.

4. i want change that is for the good and i dont want plastics anymore.

as ive said, these are subject to change. and hopefully a more specific conditions. but for now, i wish all SDS could read this for their change in attitude has been delayed for a long long time.

I DECLARE WAR WITH SDS!

2008-10-04T18:21:00.006+08:00

(this blog post will be written mostly in filipino for the full expression of hate, abhor, and anger)

hindi na kaila sa tao ang pagkakaroon ng "irony" sa buhay. minsan gusto mong maging masaya pero ang ginagawa mo sa buhay mo ay mga bagay na nakakapagpalungkot sa'yo.

may mga nangyari na nagpakita ng ganyan sa buhay ko nito lang. tulad nga ng lagi kong sinasabi sa mga first year ko ngayon "kung sa academics hindi ka magaling, pati ba naman sa buhay ay tatanga-tanga ka rin? puro ka nga line of 7, pati ba naman sa sarili mo: ang mga alam mong mali ay gagawin mo pa rin."

kagabi ang gabi ng pagsuko. ayoko na, ilang beses ko na silang pinagbigyan. ilang beses rin nila akong sinubok at binigo. pero bilang isang magulang at kaibigan sa kanila (dahil sila rin naman ang unang star section na nahawakan ko at co-adviser pa nila ako noon), ako na ang nag-aayos ng mga problema.

sandali! baka naman overacting lang ako? ipapaliwanag ko nang mabuti baka naman sabihin nila
'camiguin-line' na "teka lang, naiintindihan nyo ba kung bakit nagalit yun?"

here are the reasons:

1. magpasahan tayo! wala akong pakialam kung tutuusin. naayos ko ang re-enactment actors ng first year para sa grand rosary rally. kumpleto ako. kaya lang ang sa third year ang kulang, so sabi ng isang taong nag-nga-ngalang mitchell: "sir, sa baba may mga nagba-basketball. kumuha na lang kayo sa kanila." pagbaba ko: "ianne, tama na muna yan. kailangan kita para mag-act na angel." sabi ni ianne: "ayoko sir , si marga na lang." pumunta ako kay marga: "ayoko sir. si daniel na lang."

KAMUSTA NAMAN?! una sa lahat, kaaayos lang namin ianne ng problema namin. pangalawa akala close kami ni marga, eh sa marga nga hindi sumunod sa akin, si daniel pa kaya na hindi ko ka-close at hindi ako pinapansin sa school ang susunod sa aking utos. eh nung first year nga sila at kinailangan ko silang magsayaw ng kanilang dasayawit presentation bilang intermission program tinanggihan nila ako na pinangunahan ni daniel! naka-costume na sila nung and everything ha, sa huling sandali nagbackout pa.

2. hindi ako pwede, busy ako! bago ko gawin ang post na ito, alam kong may mga effect. lalo na sa mga makakabasa na kasama sa 9 or kung anumang numerong meron sa barkadang iyon. sinabi sa akin ni shirra at ni iman (OO, hindi ko i-si-sikreto ang pangalan nila. DAHIL NAGSABI SILA SA AKIN!) na nagkarambola ang lahat dahil sa mga kailangan ni mitchell at lorraine (ang mga nagsipagganap dun sa re-enactment para sa grand rosary rally pa rin) para sa kanilang roles. habang nag-aayos, sinabi pa ng iba na (pasalamat sa akin ang ISANG yun at hindi ko maaalala o hindi sinabi sa akin ni shirra kung sino sya): "ay hindi ako pwede marami akong gagawin mamaya" sinabi nya yan the day before. EH NUNG DAY BEFORE (refer to #1) KASAMA ANG TAONG ITO NI MARGA NA NANONOOD LANG SA MGA NAGBABASKETBALL DOING NOTHING! ang the cherry on top of it is - nung nag-g-gm si shirra sa mga tao may MAKAPAL ANG MUKHA na nagsabing "ANO BA YAN, GM NG GM, NAKAKAISTORBO KA NA HA."

ang kapal ng mukha, kala mo may itinutulong. nagrereklamo pa. para sa school naman yan ah. hindi ka na nga naaabala in action, konti window lang sa ym nag-iinarte ka pa.

NOTE / THREAT: may marinig lang ako na bumwelta, nagparinig, nagalit, nagbulungan o kung ano mang aksyon laban kay shirra at iman dahil si ginawa nilang ito, AKO ANG MAKAKALABAN NINYO. you know me and you know what i can do. subukan nyo, dahil kung meron nga, it just shows na salbahe kayo, kung sino na nga ang gumawa ng tama, sa kanila pa kayo nagagalit. hirap sa ating mga pilipino eh, kung sino ang gumagawa ng mabuti, hinihila natin pababa. kaya di tayo umuunlad eh.

3. ang tarpaulin, bow! naman, naman, naman! buti pa ang hindi star section, nakakapagsubmit. ang supposed to be most responsible, most grade-conscious person ay kayo! at walang kayong naibigay! alam nyo ba na graded yun? alam nyo ba na project yun na part ng participation which is 25% of your grade? na kapag wala kayo nun, para na rin hindi kayo nag-quarterly?? tapos pag nagkanda-baba ang grade nyo at tipong "1 point na lang, honor na sana ako" mag-huhuramentado ang mga magulang ninyo dahil sa mga ginagawa ninyo. iba ang nasisisi dahil sa pagmamaganda ninyo sa buhay!!!

4. crush lang pala. this part was edited because the person involved said that i was unfair. eto lang ang masasabi ko, "sorry for wanting good things for you." i guess from the way you act, you dont deserve them. yun lang! gawin nyo kung ano gusto nyong gawin, bahala kayo sa buhay nyo.

5. finally, the inspirational talk that EXPIRED! a.k.a. ang mga MELAMINE. sabi sa balita, ang melamine raw ay isang uri ng resin na ginagamit pampatigas ng mga plastic na kasangkapan. ito ay nasa powder form na marahil kaya natagpuan sa mga gatas na galing sa China ay para mag mukhang marami ang kanilang mga produktong gatas.

noong nakaraan lang, humiram akong iilang minuto kay sir john para kausapin ang SDS. sinabi ko ang lahat ng aking saloobin. naiyak pa nga ako kasi namimiss ko na ang lumang sila. hindi ko pa nga inasahan na may mga iiyak at hahagulgol. PWE! YUCK! EEW! naplastic ako! iilang araw lang pala ang magiging epekto ng ginawa ko. hindi mangyayari ang number 1 to 4 kung hindi nila nalimutan ang mga sinabi ko! para kayong mga melamine, kunwari gatas na nakakabuti sa katawan, pero nakakalason pala! kunwari nangangakong magbago at aayusin para sa isang bagong pakikitungo, PAPLASTIKIN lang pala ako sa bandang huli. backstabbers!!!

inisip ko noon na baka sobrang higpit siguro ni sir pj sa kanila, kaya sya nagalit. kaya hindi ko ginawa. tapos sabi pa ng tatay ni fredo sa teleseryeng "dyesebel" tungkol sa kanyang anak: "i put on a too high standard on him (fredo), i expected a lot that i forgot to appreciate who he is." akala ko rin nung una ganun, pero sa kanila, sa SDS, sa star section ng 3rd year batch 2010, it doesnt work that way. i tried to appreciate who they are as a person. but i cant appreciate backstabbing, plastic pretenders even with their fellow star classmates.

sinabi ko sa inyo noon na madami akong alam. pero nirerespeto ko ang tiwala nyo sa akin, hindi ko yun sasabihin sa blog na ito para i-broadcast sa lahat. irerespeto ko kayo, kahit wala na kayong respeto sa akin, kahit na ibinasura nyo na ng paulit-ulit ang tiwala kong ibinibigay sa inyo.

magsama kayo ng camiguin!

sabi ko nga kina criselle sa basilan: "kung sino ang pinaka-galit, sila ang pinaka-nagmamahal..."

this week's highlights

2008-09-13T16:06:00.002+08:00

i have two worries for this week that has recently passed by.

first: confirmation
it really is a super duper great of a hassle to me. well because first, its venue is at seton south-chapel. and second of all, there were a lot of things going on when sister told me to collect the requirements. during the last day that she was pressuring me to collect from the first years the requirements, i have been away at school almost everyday because i joined almost all sections in their recollection. so when she started collecting, i did not have enough because the first years were reminded during the foundation week. plus, there were those who declined because of the venue. in the end there only more or less 20 people who joined.

and a while ago, i can say that this is the most boring confirmation in my whole life in seton. because i did not do anything (i chose to not do anything) when i was there. plus, i dont know the kids who were being confirmed. i was like "pakelam ko sa kanila..."

in addition, my head was hurting big time. may be because i super duper want to go home. the first thing that i thought of when we got there was to go home.

basically, my gut totally rejected confirmation at the south chapel.

and yeah, sister has been a really big trouble. im sorry, but she has issues. she quickly changes her decisions and she "edits" what she said making us saying a lie. "ay hindi ganyan ang sinabi ko..." then we say "hindi sister, yan ang sinabi mo." then she retorts "hindi, hindi"

GAAAH!

second: PTC!
i was super duper nervous friday morning about the ptc. but when the parents came flooding in, i actually was happy to talk to them and i enjoyed chatting with them. probably because when they came they were like "sir, bakit ganun ang grade ng anak ko?" and then after i explain "ay oo nga, deserving pala nya ang grade na yan." BWAHAHAHAHA! im loving the parents.

but then, i heard from a co-teacher about a parent of a third year. this parent was really angry because she says that her "offspring" doesnt deserve that grade. the parent also added that the grade might make her "offspring" give up studying because of the "not high enough" grade that was given.

maybe the reason that my head was hurting during the confirmation was because (well, aside from me aching to get home) i was thinking of that person and what i happened during the ptc. i was really disappointed because i did not know that they were like that now. i know that i did not teach them to be like that, to treat failures as reason to give up. i know that i told them that whenever we fall, we should get back up and fight harder. i even remembered when i had them watch finding nemo, telling them "when life gets you down, you know what to do. just keep swimming." but then this parent came along with this concern. di man lang sinabi sa parent na, "di bale, next time po pagbubutihan ko na." haayy...

anyway, nangyari na. well, what i was saying three years ago might really be coming true.
i think im raising monsters.

first post in school year 2008-2009 !!!

2008-09-06T18:07:00.002+08:00

its been a while since ive written something here. maybe because circumstances at school rob me of my will and drive to write something here.

two years ago, i am very excited to blog about something because my first batch of students read my posts and in a way they get to know what runs into my mind. in addition, i am full of vigor and energy then not only to blog but also to teach.

lately (which started last year) ive grown tired of writing in this blog. why? because im so stressed at school and blogging about it would be the last thing that i would do. i mean, i wouldnt want to remind myself of things that make my life miserable, right?

anyway, as i am typing this blog entry, ive realized that i HAVE avid reader. nyahaha. i visited the site and i got to read the tags, my "fans" begging for me to write again. hahaha. aside from those reasons, ive come to realize that i would like to include blogging as part of my stress releasing.....uhm.....activities. :))

yes! i admit. i am stressed. why? here are my reasons...

stress #1 - the confirmation. in the past years, i have looked forward to the confirmation activity because it is the time of my bonding with my first year students. but this year, somethings went wrong. but the very root of it all was that "they" decided to hold it in SETON SOUTH CHAPEL in which, might i mention, is 1 and a half hour travel from seton main. >.< from this root, stemmed out internal problems with the intended participants of this sacrament. the first years were told of the requirement last july. and were continuously reminded up to the last week of august. there were those who submitted earlier and on the deadline. yet there are those who chose to be "special." luckily for them, i dont entertain people who think of themselves as "special." and it seems that there are lot of people in their batch that likes to be "special."

stress #2 - the star. ok, here goes. my way of the teacher (parang naruto lang na "my way of the ninja..") is that i would like to, as much as possible, reach out to my students and help them grow to become a strong individual. to help them mature, and to learn to have fun in life in which doesnt mean that you sacrifice something to attain it. most especially to the star sections, having the greatest pressure from their academics. in the past 2 star sections that i handled, i tried my best to guide them and to be open to them. i tried my very best to remind them that not everything have their equivalent grades. that there are things that are more valuable than having a merit card, and that is being a human person. unfortunately, this year, the world has given elizabeth seton school a different kind of mix for school year 2008-2009. i am stressed by the star section. as much as i want to let go of the thought and listen to the people telling me "hayaan mo na sila" or "wag mo na pansinin, ganyan talaga yang mga yan" i still cant believe that there are people that have hearts as hard as what these kids have. i have explained to them, detail by detail every step of interaction that i had given to them. that i have tried to teach them a lesson kindly, that it did not work that i shouted at them one time, that i dont know the right way to scold them anymore, that i felt bad about angry at them all the time and ask them if it was wrong for me to get angry at them. every little detail just because they were not acting like the star in spite of them bragging about this fact about themselves. what's worst of this is at the end of my EXTREME EFFORT TO HELP THEM REALIZE THINGS is that i get a remark saying...

person 1: naintindihan mo ba kung bakit nagalit yun?
person 2: hinde.

*sigh* oh well. at the end i am faced with a dilemma. is it right for me to give up? will it make me less of a teacher if i decided to let go of my eagerness to teach them the right things from the wrong?

there are many other things that stresses me out at school. and i have sacrificed a lot of my game time writing this blog. so i guess i will have to end this post.

in the end, i think prayers will be the only thing that i can hold on to in facing these sad realities. prayers that people who chose to go the wrong path realize that they are walking on rocky paths. prayers that my Master up there would guide me to hold myself together as i go on.

lastly, prayers that the people (my brigantes and agrianes a.k.a. student friends) would not leave me behind. that they continue to support me and uplift my spirit by showing me that i have not failed in them, that i did not waste my efforts trying to raise to be good individuals, so that they can remind me that once, i am effective and that i can be like that again.

i hope that those that remind me of who i am before, will remind me again not by words but by spontaneous actions. not because they want to please me, but because that i helped them realize that that is the right way of being a person.

ISSHOUNI ASOBO! (maglaro tayo!)

greatest day ill ever experience...

2008-03-31T21:49:00.002+08:00

...march 31, 2008.

even better than the day that brigantes happened.

why?

- the last day of school for me
- we were able to visit the seton - south chapel
- basta masaya kasi everything seemed so fun.

kahit na medyo may hindi magandang nangyari, ok na rin. when i was feeling very low and confused...andyan sya. :"> at ang existence nya ang nakapagpasaya sa akin. yung simpleng act lang na yun, ok na sa akin. im satisfied, stable, and happy again.

syempre, masaya rin ako kasi dahil may nakausap ako for a long time na hindi ko nakakausap. masaya kasi sya ang unang nakipagusap sa akin, alam kong ginamit nya lang yung mababaw na pagtatanong na yun para mag-initiate ng pakikipag-usap. :)

oo nga pala, i received my evaluation today. ineexpect ko na magiging harsh ang comments sa akin ng first year. but i was wrong. kung ico-compare, mas MEAN and HEARTLESS yung last year. this year siguro dalawa lang yung nagsabi ng negative, lahat positive at alam kong totoo. walang halong personal.

ayun lang. basta sobrang saya. what a great way to end the year.

~ ~ ~

sabi nila, "its not the destination that counts, its the journey that you must enjoy." tama naman, pero sa nangyari ngayon, di ko masyado nagustuhan ang "journey" this year, but i LOVE the detination. :)

~ ~ ~

ja ne!

my shackles of hell are about to come off...

2008-03-11T23:34:00.002+08:00

...but in a way, i will miss my shackles.

~~~

its only a matter of days and i am finally free. i will emerge out of this burning underworld, out of this nightmare, out of this craziness.

pero naisip ko, kahit na ganito ako sa kanila. alam kong mamimiss ko sila. pero knowing them, they wont care. although they say so, theyre not the type to be like that especially to their teachers. i sometimes get teary eyed knowing that i would not see them again. i love them, but it is something that i want to be just a part of my memories.

magbabago sila. ganun naman lagi. parang hindi ako nanggaling dyan. pag first year ka, iba ka. pag tumanda ka, magbabago ka. its either for the worse...or to the worst. ganun yan. and most of them, will forget you. ok lang naman na kalimutan ako ng mga demonyo sa kanila. pero yung mga mabait sa akin, sana they would survive with the their batch.

my prayers would always go with you.

and now, we must part ways...

hate is such a strong word...

2008-03-05T20:30:00.002+08:00

this week, it seems that everyone is trying to make me steaming mad. nagpapaka-patient na nga ako, may mga sumusubok pa rin.

hate person #1:
achuli, hindi hate person eh. hate section. swerte na nga nila, ang cream section last year, linggu-linggo na lang ata nagagalit ako. sila, hindi ako nagalit ever. ngayon lang last minute. eh kasi ba naman, nangungulit ng exemptions. its like they're telling at my face "sir peter, am i exempted? because i dont want to waste my time studying for your subject 'cause its so worthless..."

ano ba?! cream nga kayo eh, mag-aral kayo. wag kayo matakot na sayang effort nyo. you're good at that, right? how come you want so much to get rid of me. sasabihin ko naman eh, excited masyado. kung ayaw nyo sa akin, ayaw ko rin sa inyo matagal na. i hope your batchmate would take you down in contests next year.

hate personS #2:
ouch. advisory ko na, sila pa ang patapon ang ugali. hindi maiwan mag-isa. hindi na nahiya, ccf teacher ang adviser pero sila walang mga modo. ginawa ba namang basketball court ang chalk ledge? kaya dapat sa inyo, "LABAS!"

hate persons #3:
these two are the cherries on top. kasasabi ko lang na linggu-linggo ginagalit ako ng ex-ADN people. and now, they did it again. well, 2 of them actually. i know that you are medalists, and i understand that you cant make it to my club. pero kamusta naman ang basketball?! ang club ko 4 to 5. eh uwian nyo 12 pa. pinili nyo mag-stay ng hanggang 5 para magbasketball?! at higit sa lahat, you have planned it all along. planned not to go to my club and play instead!! how dare you.

see? kaya ayaw ko magpost ngayon school year na to eh. if i posted since the start of this school year, this blog would be all about hate people. may list would have gone up to the hundreds...

~ ~ ~

this is for you, neeeeeeee-yah! :P

first 2008 post

2008-02-15T23:16:00.002+08:00

its been a while since i posted anything on this blog. and now i will start again since im not burning in hell anymore. haha.

in every batch, there are some kids that amaze me. this year, theres this kid that caught my attention because he is good in studying and yet he is also athletic and can be one of the cool kids therefore not like those of the geeky others. hehe.

but i was disappointed because his values inside are not that good, masama pala ugali. oh well, what can you expect from their batch. i guess more or less when you belong, you truly belong.

but not all are like "them" there are those who kept me going. there are those who, in spite of my vision of a dream fulfilled crumbling down on me, made me realize that teaching is still inspiring and fun. there are those people who make me say to myself "magtuturo ako hindi para sa mga salbahe, para to dun sa mga gusto makinig."

and im glad that there are those people who supported me and loved. even so, i love all of them. kaya nga ako nagagalit sa kanila kasi mahal ko sila. its just that sometimes, i love pointing out their faults and the evil that is of their batch but this does not mean that i hate them. i have grown out of my hate for them. i guess this is tough love. its totally different from what i had last year. but what i have now is something that i will miss still when its over.

kaya lang may mga bagay lang talaga na ayaw ko na balikan.
tulad ng "forward our order, we will not surrender...."
yiiiieeee *shivers*

so thats it. i hope id get to post more in the future haha.

~ ~ ~

sayang holy name pa naman ibig sabihin ng pangalan mo. hindi ka naman holy.
kamusta naman grade conscious? you reminded me that i HATE those kind of people. you reminded me that i HATE cream sections. gg.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo, minna?

cant...post...currently...burning...

2007-10-20T14:58:00.000+08:00

cant write anything in detail right now. for if i go into the specifics, my head my explode and my heart might stop pumping with rage, anger and depression...

id wish that march would come. i would like to step out of hell sometime in the future.

i am BURNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

waiting for...

2007-08-21T21:36:00.000+08:00

...the free play of RF! im so excited to play again my character. im excited to seeing my level 50 summons again. and the best part of it all is that I DONT HAVE TO SPEND ANYTHING! woohoo!

~ ~ ~

i have a new motto for my life. it goes "i only please one person a day. TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY. tomorrow doesnt look good either." isnt it perfect? i love it. it goes perfectly with my day to day life. haha.

~ ~ ~

have so many things to do. its piling up, yet i dont feel stressed. haha. the fact that my seminar for the seton notes is stil hanging in limbo stresses me more than the things that i have to do. here is the list that can cause seizures...
a.) the "happy birthday" tarpauline for "THE lady..."
b.) second part / meeting lesson plan for lesson 6 entitled "God calls Abraham."
c.) the visual aid for my lesson plan
d.) refilling my pentel pens 'cause they dont f*cking work
e.) levelling up assassin in thor server while i wait for the free play RF

smite me, oh mighty smiter!....joke lang po. natawa kasi ako sa line na yun eh. wag ka po lalapit karmi martin. wuhuhuhu.

~ ~ ~

there always come a time when i get an itchy feeling on my skin. next thing i know, there is a small itchy red lump on my skin. the ones you get when you are bitten by a mosquito or an insect. if im lucky, there are times when these little bumps becomes un-little. they become freaking huge. the best part of it all is that i dont feel anything that bites my skin. sometimes, i walk. and when i sit down, my skin suddenly itches. then, TA-DA! itchy red bump. my conclusion: i have a ghost mosquito / bug that follows me which bites me everytime it wants. sometimes, it wants to party and have a bite-fest on me with its friends.

oh, itch. how i love.

~ ~ ~

beauty is art.

art is a bang.

BEAUTIFUL! I want to BANG you.

-deidara. (from a fanart of a person in deviantart)

an email for mother....

2007-08-04T16:49:00.000+08:00

hi mommy.

how are you?

ok naman ako dito. i-e-email na lang kita kasi mahal ang text sayo. 15 isa.

anyway...

hay naku, mommy. ang hirap pala maging magulang. ang hirap magbantay ng mga bata. pagsasabihan mo tapos hindi mo naman alam kung susundin nila yung sinabi mo sa kanila kasi hindi mo naman sila nakikita. adviser kasi ako mommy. eh nung isang beses, nagbigayan ng update sa performance nung mga bata. parang may binibigay na letter sa magulang na nakalagay kung saan sila bumabagsak o kung hindi sila nagpasan ng requirements. tapos nun, ang daming parent na tumawag sa akin, sabi nila "paano kaya natin tutulungan ang anak ko?" natakot ako mommy kasi parang sa akin umaasa yung mga parents nila regarding sa buhay ng mga anak nila sa school. kasi adviser ako, parang ako na yung second parent nila sa school. kaya ayun, gumawa na ako ng paraan para paalalahanan sila sa mga dapat nilang gawin sa mga subject nila.

alam mo ba, mommy. ako na ang ginawa nilang adviser ng school paper. tapos yung editor in chief nila, yung isang fourth year na sobrang talino. lagi siyang first honor. naawa ako sa kanya mommy, kasi sabi ng mga teacher niya sa akin. nahihirapan na daw sya, tapos hindi na daw nya kaya na gusto nya na raw mag-quit as eic. naisip ko tuloy bakit hindi sya lumapit sa akin nung nahihirapan na sya.

parang ang hirap mag-guide ng tao, bilang magulang ang hirap pala mag-guide sa mga anak para lumaki ng maayos. naisip ko tuloy, nahirapan ka ba sa amin ni pau mommy? nung maliit pa kami, mahirap din ba kami sabihan? hindi ko na maalala kasi ang alam ko lang makpaglaro lang kami ni pau masaya na ulit ako eh kahit napagalitan mo kami.

ayun lang, mommy. gusto ko lang i-share sayo mommy. pasensya ka na pala kung hindi ako masyado nakaka-email.

pushing them away

2007-07-27T23:27:00.000+08:00

hi, im peter.

im 22 years old. and im a teacher.
right now, im super-stressed and i feel that i am always tired.

im an aquarian, meaning i am intractable [aka stubborn], perverse [aka cranky], unpredictable [aka magulo ang utak], unemotional [aka manhid], detached [aka lutang ang utak], chaotic [aka warfreak] and rebellious [aka kontra bida].

in the chinese zodiac, im an ox meaning i am obstinate [aka makunat], pouty [aka laging nakabusangot], apathetic [aka walang pake], quick tempered [aka..."ano ba?! wag nga painitin ulo ko ha!"]

my bad traits are: i am friendly, truthful. im was born in 1985 making me a wood ox which is "devoted to those they love and make strong and affectionate friends and relations..."

my hobbies are stress-eating and being brutally frank to people.

actually, i like to shoo people by telling them things that would hurt their feelings. sometimes, i hurt their feelings by being mad at them by showing an angry face and yelling at them without a valid reason. also, there are times that i shoo away people by using what we have talked about in the past which emphasizes our bond, then twisting its reality so that it would end up that it is better that we should forget each other.

basically, thats my subconscious self-defense. i'd like to hurt their feeling so that they would get mad at me. so that they will have a reason to leave me and they will not feel anything when they discard me from their lives. so that when parting comes, ako lang ang malungkot...

its like i want to have the prettiest garden so i will plant many flowering plants. yet when these plants bloom and they bear flowers that pleases me very well, i would pluck them all off and give them away. leaving me with a barren lot...

~ ~ ~

im so pagod!

scenario...

2007-07-21T22:17:00.001+08:00

freaking cream, ruining my life!

2007-07-14T00:01:00.000+08:00

im so galit right now, i just want to vent out!

I HATE THE CREAM! they make my life miserable! who on earth lets their parents log-on their yahoo messenger id?! sa cream lang yan! anakanangpu@#$#%@#$%$@#! nakakainis talaga.

and everyone seems to talk about things that they should not make pakialam. as if naman mamamatay sila pag hindi nila nalaman. kaya lumalaki yung issue eh, pinag-uusapan pa. kaya natatakot maging 'totoo' ang mga kaklase nyo kasi konting pagbabago lang sa kilos pinupuna nyo agad, ginagawang big deal. mga chismoso/-sa talaga! kaya kayo nagkakaplastikan eh. bwiset!

this will be the last time i will make pakialam sa inyo.

you know me, mahilig akong mangdamay. kasalanan ng isa, kasalanan ng lahat. kapag naka-receive ako ng complaint sa parent dahil sa katangahan ninyo, UBER DEAD. lets start to forget each other.

nakakainis! ayaw ko na makialam sa buhay ninyo. for once, i tried to make someone realize something in their life that is good and yet it BLOWS UP IN MY FACE.

poohtek!

~ ~ ~

namimiss daw. baka namimis painitin ang ulo ko. dont worry, you guys still do.

ELEL

~ ~ ~

freaking cream!

im so angryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

honto no kimochi

2007-07-08T12:07:00.000+08:00

Riaru na mahou ni
Kakatta mitai ni
Kono mune ni yakitsuita
Mabushii egao
Like having been enchanted
By real magic
A dazzling smile
Scorched my chest

Dakedo au tabi ni
tsun tsun tsumetakushichau no
Naze dare yori
Kini naru no ni
Ijiwaru wo shichau darou
But every time when we meet
I’d get all cross and cold
Why is it that even though I worry more about you than anyone else
I only tease you about it?

Hontou no kimochi
Setsunasa no kakera ga
Kono kokoro no ichiban oku
Kimi wo yondeiru yo
Zero kara hajimaru hi wo
My true feelings-
The crystal of my pains
From the greatest depths of my heart
Is calling for you
For the day we start to zero

Sasayaka na kisoki
Nemuri ni tsuitara
Futari wa yume no naka de
Yoiso teitta
A meager miracle
Is when I fall asleep
We snuggled up against each other
In my dream

Hoka ni mo takusan
Suteki na hito wa iru no mie
Naze kimi datte
Tokubetsu nano
Hoka no dare mo tawarenai
Even though there are plenty
Of other wonderful people
Why is it that only you are special?
No one else can replace you

Hontou no kimochi
Yasashisa wa agetai
Shiroi tsuki ni
Inori da nara
Jumon wo tonaeru yo
Sunao ni nareru you ni
My true feelings
Wants to give you kindness
While I pray to the white moon
I chant a spell
So that I can be honest

Hontou no kimochi
Setsunasa no kakera ga
Kono kokoro no ichiban oku
Kimi wo yondeiru yo
My true feelings-
The crystal of my pains
From the greatest depths of my heart
Is calling for you
For the day that starts from zero

Hontou no kimochi
yasashisa wa agetai
Yowake no hoshi
Uinku shite
Watashi ni unatsuita
Ashita ga hajimaru yoko
My true feelings
Wants to give you kindness
The daybreak stars wink
And bow to me
When tomorrow starts…

the shirt with two collar...

2007-07-06T17:37:00.000+08:00

its a common mistake for most people to be very courageous in front of situations because they think "marami na akong napagdaanan! madali na lang para sa akin yan..." then again maybe not. as what my professors in education at la salle used to say "learning is a life-long journey," i have been surprised by many firsts today. here are some:

first level mass of the first years
i was very surprised at them for it was like i was attending a baccalaureate mass (minus the standing/sitting at the same time). everyone was singing loudly. everyone was responding loudly. it made me so happy inside, it me cry. kidding! but really, it really made me glad. but there was one regret that i had. i did not affirm their good deed. i mean, something held me back from speaking at the pulpit right after the closing song ends.

first time i got home at 4pm!
i'd like to relax from this week's work. that's why everytime i am on my way to pasig on fridays, i look very grumpy and i have this attitude of getting irritated to anything that gets in my way of getting home fast. from stupid long lines of traffic due to some stupid big trucks, to annoying security guards that are pretending to do their job and poking around people's luggage before entering the mrt or the mall therefore causing ridiculous long lines of sweaty people. i hate it. yet im home, gotta stop complaining and indulge once again, in an internet spree - annoying student (not all students) free - weekend with my dog momo (moe-moe).

first time someone deleted himself from friendster before i delete him
when you get me mad, you get me mad. period. and you wont hear the end of it. i was talking to iman the other day, and he mentioned one of her ex-classmate. i am pretty much agitated by this one, a little outside motivation would really blow me up, and what iman told me did the job. i mean, come on! di nyo ba alam na pinaghihirapan kong isipin ang gagawin ko sa harap nyo, para lang hindi kayo antukin? baduy pala hala ha. tignan natin. buti na lang dinelete mo na sarili mo sa list ko, inunahan mo na ako. hindi nga tayo friends eh, kahit sa cyberspace ayokong maging friend kita.

first time of buying such a cool shirt
i love that shirt and yet everyone has something negative to say about it. but i love it! and its my 800 pesos! so back off.

~ ~ ~

SHOCKING!

i found my blog site in the seton notes' computer. im like "EEP!"

please, to all people who are reading that is below 17 yrs old (the quota went up) military secrecy

"what i see, what i hear, when i leave i leave it here."

ok?

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo?

iman's fault part 2 :)

2007-06-23T21:21:00.000+08:00

i will not falter!

yan ang sabi ng character sa dynasty warriors (english version syempre) kapag konti na lang ang buhay mo tapos nagawa mo pang maka-takas sa mga kalaban.

yan din ang aking kasalukuyang motto ko sa akin sarili.

waah! last year, before the year ended. i keep saying "excited na ako mag-next school year!" especially during the summer, i kept on dreaming about school and the different events that i will be facing. i am excited because i had the strong feeling that i will be an adviser. the fact that i will be having an art club made me even more ecstatic.

but...there is always the but. things seems to pull me down. during the first weeks, i felt that i wont be able to do things the proper way. yet now, i am able to keep myself together.

i am beginning to love my new batch of first years. i am learning to move on...finally. my long vacant hours keep me unsteady in my seat because i am excited to face them and teach. my memory is refreshed, i am reminded of what my philosophy towards my students. that is to teach and learn through love.

during this week, there are students that i was talking to and then they saw their ex-adviser and decided to say hi to him. it made me realize that there is something in the bond to an adviser that cannot be fulfilled by a simple subject teacher. because of that, i promised myself that i would take care of my advisory class very well. i would try to remind them of things so that they would act properly and i would try to make them feel that they can approach me anytime and with anything.

one thing that i did not expect this school year was seton notes. it was given to me and at first i thought this was a burden. but everyone around me thought that it was an honor, and everyone seems to say to me "naks naman sir, seton notes!" im like "uuhh...okay." ive approached all of my closest co-teachers, asking them for advices and what should i do because i feel so pressured of the things that will happen in the future being the seton notes adviser. i even thought of giving up. if it wasnt for the thought of everyone in seton notes, especially iman and anthony, i would have let go. all of them told me the same thing, do not let the eyes of others put pressure on you. do not let others dictate what you should do. ms. jo told me "God chooses people to do things because He knows that they can succeed. Although we cannot understand from our own human minds why we are put in such position, God knows that we can do the task that we have been assigned with." and ms. bevs told me as well "do not show the kids that you are being weak in this situation, you should be a model of strength for them for they will draw strength from you."
I thank God for all these people. for giving all these kind of people around me. because of them, i learned to fight.

and because of those people, i was able to spend time with the seton notes people. i was able to spend bonding time with them while we were working. sana maulit. :)

~ ~ ~

achievement for the week: ive memorized all of my boys and almost all of my girls in sds!

ive also memorized all of the seton notes people! you want proof? anthony, tet, criselda, miko, iman, monci, cyril, adrian, adriel, fiona, marvin, ronaldo, victor, czar, nikki, simone, jose, mara, laura, eirish,

~ ~ ~

yung isa kong favorite student napunta sa gensan. huhu! sayang :(

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo?

maybe your my love

2007-06-13T20:40:00.000+08:00

making myself satisfied from being an observer
seeing you smile and laugh from far away is enough
resigning to the idea that we can wont have contact
ever, again.
being contented with memories of you and i talking and conversing through smiles
something that will never happen again
yet i must make my self happy
contented with gazing at you
staring at you
from afar

~ ~ ~

the reason for which
people fall in love
is different from everyone, but~

MAYBE YOU'RE MY LOVE

first WEEK high!

2007-06-09T09:46:00.000+08:00

after many weeks of summer excitement, it has come. the first week of classes. during summer, i have dreamt of many things that will happen in the school. goes to show that i am super duper excited for school year 2007-2008. and here's why...

advisory class!
i have my very own advisory class! my very first advisory class! and during the summer or even before last school year ended (when i felt that i would be given one), i felt excited and scared at the same time.

the club!
yehey! finally, i have a club that i like. and i will make sure that this will be fun for everyone. woohoo!

but there's a catch...

- my ccf classes have only two meeting per week. huhuhu.
- my section has 45 students in it. wah!
- and they have given SETON NOTES! goodluck!

i think, i will be more of an extra-curricular teacher than a ccf teacher.

one exciting year, here i come!!!!

2 persons that i saw today

2007-05-24T20:22:00.000+08:00

while i was enjoying one of my most fun days in school with the teachers, i saw two of my students today and i was reminded of things that i learned. one person reminded me of the things that i learned during the school year, and the other one reminded me of the things i learned this summer.

person number 1: school year person
this person was really good to me at the start of the school year. but he was cold from 2nd quarter to the last. and as time pass by, i realized how talented he is and i began to appreciate him. pero habang nagiging isa na sya sa mga favorite ko, parang lalo naman siyang nagagalit sa akin. haha. eh ayaw nya pala sa akin, pero nag-usap naman na kami. sana ok na.

person number 2: summer person
disappointed! this person taught me that people really do change. even if youre only a 13 year old, you can change that dratically. this person used to be nice to me. pero nagbago nung nagbakasyon lang. nakakainis, nagtatanong lang ako one time nung ka-chat ko sya, hindi ako nireply-an, at kung sasagot pa, pasungit pa. hay nako! bahala ka, ayoko magaksaya ng oras sayo. sino ka ba, magsama kayo ng mga kaklase mong abnormal. haha. (pwera sa'yo iman, shirra at ianne. haha. uuy! may clue! nyehehehe!)

thats it!

~ ~ ~

post made in netopia rfc.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

love | ruthlessness | reminisce

2007-05-13T22:55:00.000+08:00

LOVE
tonight was one weird night. i have proven to my self once again that there are times that i put my being too good of a person to wrong use.

lets just say that i am reeling persons close to me and yet i decide to reject them. the problem with me is that sometimes, i am afraid to reject although i know this will be for the good. good for both of us.

RUTHLESSNESS
my ever reliable friends. thats why i like approaching these people for advice is because they give advice which are right although they can hurt. they know that i need pushing whenever i need to do something harsh, or something that would hurt others. because these people know that sometimes i act foolish because of my gentle heart towards other. they know that i dont know how to limit myself. thanks, you guys. although i still feel a little guilty over the act that i am going to do starting tomorrow. geez.

REMINISCE
i've searched youtube and i found it. a video of my 'masterpiece' the brigantes cheer. as usual, it was trampled with rude comments. especially with regards to the formation, the voice and the over-all winning of the team.

harhar! it was very funny, i could not stop myself from smiling when i see the video. the cheer was messed up! haha! if only it wasnt my first time supervising a cheer, i would have made them better. hay. at least now ive learned. i just fear for my beloved brigantes for people would expect highly of them this coming school year.

i would love to see them on their own. but it is hard to say. i know in myself that i would still help them, but it would be awkward for a new batch will be watching me. and i dont want to come to a time were i have to compare. *ulk*

anyway, it was really really funny! but i love the cheer. i love everything about it for it brings back many many many memories. as well as the song "humayo't ihayag" which is totally not connected to the cheering competition. but it does transcend me to those sunny afternoon of practice for academic week, and all the tears and laughters. haha.

that's why im so excited to go back to school. i want to see them again. i want to see the changes that they have gone through the summer (i know they did, they are in puberty. they are bound to change both physically and emotionally). and i am excited to teach minds, touch hearts and transform lives again! (di ba? very lasalle? hehe.)

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo?

huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu....

2007-05-09T12:55:00.000+08:00

i miss these people (and some that is not here.)

wah!

my heart feels very heavy today. gusto kong umiyak!!
i want to see you. i want to see the people that cheers me up.

waah!

si iman kasi eh!

2007-05-07T11:02:00.000+08:00

may quote na sinend sa akin na ang sabi...

an arrow can be shot by dragging it back...
so when life drags you back with difficulties,
it means that it is going to launch you into victory.

id like to believe na tama yung quote. well, sa buong buhay ko, ganun naman talaga ang paniniwala ko. na nauuna muna ang kamalasan bago ang matinding kasiyahan.

TODAY, may 6. something happened. let's just say that i was TERRIBLY TERRIBLY UNLUCKY today. as in sobra. i wont go into details dahil baka may makabasa na oa mag-react. hanggang dyan na lang muna.

as in sobrang malas ko talaga. sobra sobra sobra. and this time, hindi na ako magpapaka-tahimik. i will be expecting something very big in return! something very big that will make me very happy!

feeling ko nga nagsisimula na siya. i was surprised by the things that happened this night. haha. grabe. i wont go into details ulit kasi mahirap na. kailangan ng super matured hearts and minds para maintindihan ang unang hagupit ng aking kasiyahan.

grabe, excited ako. sa sobrang hila ng aking palaso dahil sa matinding kamalasan, sana sobrang layo din ng greatness ang aking mapuntahan.

~ ~ ~

ang doraemon pala ay pinalabas noong 1979. at may bago syang movie, well, bago nung 2003. doraemon: nobita and the strange wind creature something ang title. ang ganda, nakakatawa. ang ganda pa ng animation and nun drawing.

tapos may anime version din ang powerpuff girls. official partners sila ng cartoon network. ang ganda, and astig ng transformation sequence at ang ganda rin ng pagkakadrawing. ang cute. wala lang. anime craze.

~ ~ ~

hay naku, iman! kaya iniiwasan ko na magbasa ng blog mo eh. napapa-blog din ako. joke! hehe.

nakakapagod gumawa ng comment! kung di lang ako nag-promise sa mga chikiting na gagawan ko sila ngayong bakasyon...at least tapos na! sumakit pwet ko dun ha. ang tagal kong nakaupo at nakatapat sa laptop! :)

~ ~ ~

I want to tell you, keep it a secret between the two of us
I just want to be more than friends with you, I love you more than anyone

nice stat ha, "secret na secret"

idle phone

2007-04-05T17:08:00.000+08:00

ngayong summer, wala ako masyado pakialam sa phone ko. haha. pagkagising ko iniiwan ko lang sa kama tapos babangon na ako. babalikan sa gabi, bago matulog o kaya naman minsan kapag naisipan. lately, ang aking mundo ay umiikot sa ragnarok, naruto 3 sa ps2, final fantasyy x at xii. haha.

nakakainis, hindi na ako nagbago. nung maliit pa kami ng kapatid ko, kapag naglalaro kami sa super nes of sa playstation 1 ng fighting games. nanginginig ang kalamnan ko sa galit kapag natatalo ako. umm, siguro mayroon nang konting pagbabago kasi tinitiis ko na lang ngayon. haha. pero nakakainis, minsan hindi ako nakakapagpigil. lalo pa akong natatalo kasi hindi ako nakakapag concentrate. nakakaasar, hindi na sanay ang kamay ko sa mashing ng controller kapag labanan. kaasar. naruto 3 ang nilalaro namin. nakakainis talaga, hindi ako makasabay sa pag-kawarimi (pag-teleport sa likod ng kalaban in the middle of the combo) kasi nangangalay ang kamay ko. arrgh.

hay naku, imbyerna talaga. gusto kong sanayin ang sarili ko kasi dati magaling ako dun eh. hehe. pero promise, parang tumatanda na ata ang joints ng kamay ko. hehe.

minsan talaga may nananalo, minsan may natatalo. ayun.

may isa pa palang nakakainis na nangyari. nasira ang windows ng desktop namin, kayapinareformat. tapos ngayon wala na ang dota at ang gg. hindi na ako makakapaglaro sa desktop. hindi ko naman malagyan kasi wala akong cd hindi ko alam kung paano.

napatingin, natulala sayong kagandahan. HOT! (natulala talaga ako, swear!)

2007-04-03T10:25:00.000+08:00

summer heat is on!

kahit kalbo na ako, ang init pa rin! buti na lang hindi mainit sa gabi. hehe. dalawang araw pa lang ang lumilipas sa linggong ito, parang nasasanay na agad ang katawan ko na matulog ng madaling araw. haha. pero weird, kasi gumugising ako lagi ng 10 o bago mag-10. at ang araw ay lumilipas sa ragnarok at final fantasy xii. paminsan naruto pero nakakasakit ng kamay. and hina kasi ni tenten eh, ang lakas sa chakra. sayang favorite ko pa naman sya. :|

hay naku, nakakainis lang yung post ko last time. nakakainis lalo na kapag naiisip ko kung sinu-sino yung mga nasa section na yun kasi obvious naman kung saan galing. eh hindi ko naman alam kung sino specifically, kaya lahat suspicious. hay naku, nakakainis kayo ADN at CC, nakakainis kayo kasi honest kayo masyado. (sana hindi na lang ako sumama sa island cove, parang pinaplastic lang pala ako. na-sunburn pa ako. hmp).

oo selfish ako kasi nagagalit ako sa comments. kahit na ang comments na ito ay meant to improve me. nag-improve naman ako ah! nalaman ko kung sino ang plastic. fwe!

buti na lang may mga specific na tao na nagcocomfort sa akin. sana totoo sila at dahil sila na lang ang kinakapitan ko sa batch na to. haha. kung konti na lang silang pinagkakatiwalaan ko, ok lang. sa parating na batch na lang ako kukuha ng back-up. haha. panget, parang giyera.

~ ~ ~

NAKAKABALIW!! OMG!!!! OMG TALAGA!!!! GRABE!!! I CANT CONTAIN THIS!!!!

SO HOT!!!!!!

I CANT WAIT...!!!

~ ~ ~

grabe talaga nung nakita ko yun. pakshetters!!!
grabeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! isang magandang "GOOD MORNING!" dahil sa nasaksihan ko.

gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
konting future pa, konti pa. i swear mas magiging head turner.
lech!!!!!!!!!

ang ...................................... !!!!!!!

wooh!

~ ~ ~

bye bitches!

what the 2006-2007 1st year batch REALLY say about sir peter....

2007-03-30T23:05:00.000+08:00

"...his friendliness with students even beyond class hour, thus, making the students treat him more as a friend than as a teacher. this triggers them ti abuse sir peter. their "playing" extend to classroom and subtracted points from a quiz due to some not serious stuff. (Read: true or false may the deduction be, ITS NOT FUNNY) and sir peter is parang moody and mataray. It 's discovered by many students in HIS BLOG.
--- im sorry for being too friendly. im sorry if i am only expressing what i feel in my blog.

"Try to understand the students more. Huwag palagi (or paminsan) nagbibigay ng malalaking minuses na may medyo maliit lang na dahilan."
--- im sorry for joking around with you.

"Dont be sensitive. and without reason and just a simple thing you are being a little bit angry. Without any reason you are giving deductions."
--- im sorry if your are uncontrollably noisy in my class and the only thing that i can do is get mad and be SENSITIVE. im sorry if my level of thinking is not "cream class" level and that i do not understand that your grade is important to you.

"He sometimes gets grumpy easily and gives deductions because of noise. He suddenly says "minus one for ---."
--- sorry for if I GIVE DEDUCTIONS FOR NOISE. im sorry for punishing you whenever you do something unnecessary inside the classroom. i know you're from the cream class, you know everything and everyone iN YOUR SECTION IS PERFECT.

"CCF teacher kayo pero yung attitude nyo taliwas sa tinuturo niyo po."
--- sorry for giving you what you deserve. im sorry for not being perfect because you and your batchmates are perfect students, BECAUSE EVERYONE IN YOUR BATCH ACTS WHAT A PROPER STUDENT SHOULD ACT. thank you for respecting me, because you said "po" in the end.

"I gave sir peter 2 in question 18 (maintains classroom discipline in a fair and just manner at all times) , and i was orginally planning to give him a 1, but i changed my mind. The reason for this is because i recall one day when we had a game. and he totally freaked out on us saying we were soo noisy and that we would never have a game again. But what did he expect? It was a game, and to be honest, for our section, we weren't really as noisy as we normally could be in games. And after that, we had, two or three "self-study" periods, wherein he would gives us the page/lesson in the book and some questions to answer, and just sat at the teacher's table the entire period, only uttering words "sit down" and "good bye."
--- sorry for punishing you. im sorry because i was not able to notice that YOUR SECTION IS NOT THAT NOISY DURING THAT TIME. im sorry for punishing you because YOU WERE NOT FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS CORRECTLY AND YOU WERE ALL COMPLAINING ALTHROUGHOUT THE GAME. Im sorry that i went with your section when you went in tagaytay and at island cove knowing that someone in your section HATES me for punishing you.

"Being a good teacher by not answering them, for example i ask a question and he told me that i should not laugh while im asking the question. ACT AS A GOOD TEACHER. BE PROFESSIONAL AT ALL THE TIME."
---sorry for NOT BEING A GOOD TEACHER. im sorry for not being perfect. im sorry if this is my first year in teaching. im sorry for not being professional. most importantly, IM SORRY FOR TEACHING YOU HOW TO SPEAK AND ASK QUESTIONS PROPERLY.

"Kung may galit ka sa akin sa labas wag na wag mong dadalhin sa loob ng classroom. At wag na wag mong gagamitin yung galit mo sa akin para mapahiya at hindi mo ako pinapansin sa klase. Dont be too judgmental! parang ako na lang ang palagi mong pinapansin at palagi na lang ako ang iyong nakikita! Wala kang karapatan na sabihan ako ng sinungaling at madamot dahil lang sa isang insidente, sinasabihan mo na ako ng ganun. Baka pati ibang ibang tao, iniisip na ganun ako dahil sa sinasabi mong yun, pati sa klase!"
---im sorry for scolding you because you did something that is not right. im sorry because i was not able to see that you value so much how others might think about you yet you dont care if you act properly inside and outside the classroom. im sorry for not respecting your bratty-ness.

"wag po mangbara ng student."
--- im sorry if making "bara" is the only thing that i can think of to tell you that you are not acting properly inside the classroom. im sorry for hindering you not to act properly inside the classroom.

~ ~ ~

thank you so much for these comments. i truly appreciate it. i GREATLY THANK you guys for giving me these comment because you have made me into a better person.

goodness! i dont think i can thank you enough for these comments because you have showed me how you truly think about and me. and how you think of how i act and i treat you in school.

it drives me to tears becaue of the joys these comment bring.

once again, thank you!

you guys are the best. i LOVE you.

~ ~ ~

ouch.

change...

2007-03-28T16:49:00.000+08:00

change is something inevitable. ive learned that today. i am aware of this fact of life. and sometimes, change can be painful. i had a talk with different persons today.

persone one described how she was not friends with her friends before. although i am kind of expecting that they are not that close anymore. i just confirmed that what relationship they had before did change. they have lost their friendship and drifted apart although they are civil to each other.

person two told me that he will change next year. he told me that he will show me that eh will be a better person next year. well, i am really not expecting him to fulfill these. he is the type of person who only talks a lot and brags a lot especially about himself but not really live up to these words. although i am hoping that he will...

certain things today reminded me of the different things that change brings with it. i am reminded of one of the significant attribute that change has. Pain.

a while ago, i had a clear idea on what to write. but now, it was all blown out of my head. grr. but basically, it boils down to this. i am afraid of the future. i am afraid that next year, my most important and dearest persons to me right now would forget me and that they would treat me differently. i am afraid that they will change as years go by and as they rise in their level.

remember jessie in toy story 2? she was this girl cowboy doll that was really loved by her owner. but one day her owner grew up. Jessie's owner abandoned her for she does can no longer fill her happiness, a happiness of a grown up.

and then on the part where jessie's story was being told, there was this background music by sarah mclachlan...

" When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart
And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears
And when she was happy, so was i, when she loved me.

Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all
Just she and I together, like it was meant to be
And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her
And I knew that she loved me.

So the years went by, I stayed the same
And she began to drift away, I was left alone
Still I waited for the day, when she’d say "i will always love you."

Lonely and forgotten, never thought she’d look my way,
She smiled at me and held me, just like she used to do,
Like she loved me, when she loved me

When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful,
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart
When she loved me. "

being a young person, you consider important whatever it is that is around you that gives you attention and care. you reciprocate the attachment and the concern that these people give you in your own limited, high school life environment. but when your horizons widen. you tend to look farther. inevitably, things which are the center of your attention becomes a thing in your peripheral until it completely goes out of sight. there is a saying in philosophy that states "if a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear, does it make a sound?" if a heart breaks because it was forgotten, will it matter?

but just like what stinky pete said to woody after they heard jessie's story, "Do you really think Andy will take you to his high school graduation or to college?" well, maybe for a toy this would apply. but to true friends? i think not.

basically, i miss them. i miss them a lot.

~ ~ ~

today, (actually last night) the thing that made me happy changed as well, the responses, the drive, everything. well, i will fight for this. fight until the time is right. until the time when everything is RIPE for the PICKING. fwahahahaha.

~ ~ ~

When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful
every hour spent together lives within my heart.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

1 more week, and the school year officially ends for me...

2007-03-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

i have learned to let go. although it was hard for me to see everyone fly away from the nest. i know that we'll find each other again someday.

haha. madrama. pero alam ko naman na it will be better next year. kasi friends na kami. hindi na nila ako teacher. hehe. teacher pa rin in status, pero more of friendship kasi i will not be handling them anymore. siguro this time, mas maganda ang relations kasi wala na yung restriction ng classroom. hehe.

but still, whenever i think of the things that will not happen anymore nakakalungkot. pero i should not let this keep me from moving forward. forward is good. dapat laging pa-abante ang takbo.

basta im happy. especially these past few days. happy happy happy. although there are things na nalaman ko na medyo nakapag-palungkot, i pulled myself together and decided not to let myself be sad. i am happy. and i will make sure that this happiness would continue. haha. i will not give up on this. on this thing that makes me happy.

syempre natutuwa rin ako dahil responsive sya. hehe. sana responsive sya palagi.

yeheeeeeeeeeeeey! ang saya saya.

~ ~ ~

thoughts of you with me, us talking, makes me happy.

~ ~ ~

yesterday, Jibreel was born. oo, balik ragnarok ako. haha. kailangan ko ng mapaglilibangan ngayong summer! sali kayo kung gusto nyo. sa Thor server. walang bot! haha.

shems, daming nakapilang leisure activities ko this summer. hindi ko alam kung ano ang uunahin ko. this is my list of "summer things to do"
- palakasin si Jibreel ko (ragnarok)
- Dota training (para pagdating nung 1st year next year, kaya ko nang sumabay)
- emerald emulator (gumana na yung cheat ko!)
- mag kingdom hearts 1. (gusto kong laruin maganda daw sabi nila eh)
- mag kingdom hearts 2. (kapag natapos ko na kingdom hearts 1)
- mag dirge of cerberus (naayos ko na pala ps2 ko. pero di pa ko nakakabili nito.)
- magbalik Rf (pero parang nawawala ako sa mood)
- ensure the continuity of the thing/person that makes me happy (nyehehehe)

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo, jibreel!

sarangani...

2007-03-12T21:11:00.000+08:00

I made this in my laptop. I don’t have access to internet during weekdays and I need to write this down.

I feel like I am about to explode. There are many things that I have inside but I was not able to tell it all. I have a lot of things to say to them and yet time does not want side with me. It has always been like this, fate seems to go against me and them. Typhoons have always been during Mondays, Thursdays and/or Fridays. There are times that classes are cut on my Sarangani time. And these are the only times that I was able to be with them, and yet I was deprived of it.

I have so many regrets. I feel that I have wasted a lot of time and I was not able to spend time with them. Of all the seven sections, they were the ones that I was not able to spend time with. And they are the only section that I felt shy in approaching because I did not feel that they want me with them.

Its all my fault. During the first quarters, I was not able to reach out to them. Maybe because they were very close to their adviser and at some rate I was jealous. Of all the other advisers, their adviser was the one that was with them all the time. And I feel shy even more when their adviser is there, I cannot approach them and hang out with them. This went on, until this. The end. I tried so hard to be close to them. I tried so hard to know each and have some kind of connection with most of them. But there were some that I got offended. And they were two of my most favorite students in the batch (yes, I have favorites. And now I can say this freely for the school year has ended).

I had an activity, the ever famous “kandila” activity that I adopted from Plaridel (DLSU school paper) yearend teambuilding seminars. I thought that the students would not take I seriously. And I thought that when lunch time comes, and we are still not finished, I thought that they’d would rather have lunch and than continue.

Things took a different turn. Sarangani were serious when they were doing this. And this made my heart even heavier. I was not able think clearly because I was holding back my emotions, my tears. As every student spoke out and as each one poured their heart out and spoke honestly, the regrets that I had become even more of a big deal to me. The situation is telling me that I do not know them, I do not know anything about them. I feel so left out. Unlike in other sections, I can really relate to them and the things that are happening to them. Pero sa kanila, parang wala talaga. Nakakainis. Nakakaiyak. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko kasi hindi ko man lang sila nakilala ng husto. Gusto kong umiyak ng umiyak. Pero nahihiya akong umiyak sa harap nila. Kasi parang pinapakita ko na weak ako. Eh teacher nila ako, dapat malakas ako. Pero hindi ko kinaya, kaya pinag-lunch ko na sila bago pa ako humagulgol dun. Kasi hindi ko na talaga kaya. Lalo pa nung lapitan ako ni vina. Sobra sobrang lungkot ko. Tapos hindi ko naman magawan ng paraan, kaya nung ni-relate ko sa kandila, sabi ko “…ayan, mauubos na yung kandila. Wala na akong magagawa…” tapos tumigil na ako. Hindi ko kaya, promise.

Sorry sa iba, pero favorite ko sila. Kasi sila ang pinaka-malayo sa akin. Gusto ko silang kilalanin pero nagpalampas ako ng maraming pagkakataon. Saying. Sayang talaga.

I want to tell them this, and a lot more. I have a lot of things to say to them. Even individually. Lalo akong nasaktan nung umiyak si Ianne, tapos sinabi nya na yung mga teachers nila ayaw na sa kanila, iba na ang pakikitungo. Parang ako, sinasabi ko sa loob ko at parang gusto kong sabihin out loud na “ako, gusto ko sa inyo. Bakit hindi nyo ako napapansin? Handa akong bigyan kayo ng pagkakataon na ipakita ang sarili ninyo tulad ng sa ibang section. Bakit hindi nyo ako nakikita?”

Tapos kapag nababanggit nila ako sa kandila nila, sinasabi lang nila “salamat, sir…..ayun. thank you po.” Hanggang dun lang. Hindi na nila ma-explain. Kasalanan ko yun. Nasasaktan talaga ako. Ang sakit sa akin. Dahil sa pag-iinarte ko. Dahil sa sobrang possessive ko at sobrang seloso ko sa adviser nila. There! Inaamin ko na, sabi nga ni sir leo, ganyan daw ako. Nagseselos ako noon, kasi lagi nila kadikit si adviser. Eh ako, subject teacher lang nila, madalas pang hindi nakikita. Tapos takot pa ako sa adviser nila. Ive let these factors get in my way and now regret is eating me up alive from the inside. Noon, sila lang yung isang section na hindi ko nababantayan mag-overstay kasi si adviser lagi ang kasama. Tapos kapag dadaan ako sa classroom nila tuwing break, andun din kaya nahihiya ako lapitan.

Regret. Regret. I feel sad mostly because of this. But generally, I feel sad because my kids will now leave me. They are ready to fly out of the nest. Leaving me hoping that someday, we would cross paths again and that we would still remember that days that we have spent together before.

~ ~ ~

James, sorry. Sorry dahil lagi kita nakikita at lagi kita pinagtitripan. Nasaktan ako nung nalaman kong galit ka pala sa akin dahil dun. Kaya pala nakasimangot ka lagi pag nakakasaluong mo ako. Sorry james. Pero alam mo, kung hindi mo lang alam. Im very proud of you and of the talents that you have. Lalo na nung intrams. Kaya favorite ko yung volleyball boys na team kasi andun ka. Kasi sabi ng mga batchmates mo magaling daw kayo maglaro. Tapos ang galling mo pa mag-drums. Lalo na sa mga kwento ni sir pj, na namumula ka na raw sa kakahampas nung drums pero kinaya mo. Tapos nung nakita ko yung seton notes nung grade 4 kayo, na nanalo ka sa golf. Ang galing mo, james. Para akong magulang mo, super proud ako kahit matagal na yun. Syempre pati yung talents mo na meron ka ngayon. Ibang klase. Tapos sabi ni ms lhou nagagawa mo pa ring ibalance ang studies mo. Galing! Sorry talaga, james.

Franz, sorry. Sorry nung pinahiya kita. Sorry din nung pinilit kong pitikin yung tenga mo. Alam kong nairita ka na. sorry dahil hindi ko na-develop sayo ng mabuti yung talino mo sa subject ko. Alam mo, magaling ka sa akin. Saying nagkamali ako ng gabay sayo. Kaya kita naging paborito kasi most ng mga tanong ko ikaw lang ang nakakasagot. Sorry. Natutuwa nga ako sayo kasi dati yung mga maliliit na bagay, napapansin mo tapos binabanggit mo at shi-ne-share mo sa akin. Lumalapit ka kahit wala lang yung sasabihin mo. Tapos yun nga nagalit ka. Akala ko okay na kasi nung exposure trip, naging ganun ka ulit kasi tinawag mo ako kahit malayo ka na tapos sinabi mo na pumunta ka ng mcdo para bumili nung ice cream ata. Wala lang, shinare mo lang. tapos biglang wala na ulit. Pero sorry pa rin. I really mean it.

Sorry sa inyong dalawa, alam kong wala nang chance para mabalik na yung dati. Or ipakita na yung dati bumalik na kasi hindi nyo na ako teacher. Basta, I want you to know that I am sorry. And im very sincere about this. Mag-iingat kayo. Ill always pray for you.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

finishing as much unfinished business as i can...

2007-03-10T23:16:00.000+08:00

waah.

ill write this post mostly in tagalog para madali....

nabbother ako kasi may galit pala sa akin. na-hurt ko feelings nila. waah. kasi lagi ko silang pinagttripan kapag nasa loob ng classroom. nakikipagbiruan lang naman pero mukhang sinersyoso nila.

kaya pala ganun na yung reaction nila sa akin. parang iba na sila sa akin. hay naku, bakit ganun. kung kelan matatapos, saka ko lang nalalaman.

kaya ko naman nagawa yun kasi sila yung paborito ko sa klase. eh yun lang yung paraan na pagpapakita ko na isa sila sa mga 'special' para sa akin. para hindi magselos yung iba. sino ba naman ang iba pang gustong mapag-trip-an di ba. eh hindi ko naman alam na masasaktan sila.
huhuhu.

~ ~ ~

i cannot cry hard enough...

~ ~ ~

ill be waiting...
for (all of) you...
so...
if you come here...
you'll find me....

i promise.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

one last request...

2007-03-05T20:41:00.000+08:00

i know im not that good as a teacher.
i know that im not the favorite of everyone.
i know that not everyone likes me.
im not even sure that everyone that i treat as friend outside of the classroom treats me as friend as well.

but for the last chance, i hope that they listen to me.

all i want is the good for them. and i really think that what they like is not going to bring them goodness. but it seems that they would not listen.

im at a dilemma. i want to respect what they want, and i want them to learn by their own mistakes. but i dont want the other batches to look down at them and maltreat them because of a specific number of persons just like what happened in the past intrams. it hurts me inside when others think ill of them.

i was hoping that this time it would change. but i think that they are again making a bad decision.

mas kilala naman kasi nila yun tao, sabi nila. at siguro kahit anong gawin kong pagrereason out sa kanila, hindi naman ata sila makikinig. kahit na sabihin na nating nakita ko na ung tunay na kulay nung gusto nila. hindi pa rin sila maniniwala. ganyan naman kasi yang mga yan.
basta ako its either of the two ang gusto ko. pero sabi nila, ayaw na nila dun sa isa kasi sawa na sila. kaya dun na lang sila sa 2nd to the most popular.

i love all of them. but sometimes, kailangang maging objective. i love all of them as a person, as a friend. pero minsan, iba sila sa trabaho. aba! eh kung tatanungin kung sino pinakagusto ko as a person, pipiliin ko na ung popular choice. mabait sya sa akin, and i could say na sya ung may pinakamaraming times na nakausap ko out of the three, at nakapag-bonding na rin ako sa kanya. heck! puro kaming dalawa pa nga ata ung most nung nasa friendster photos ko. but sometimes, hindi sya ganun ka-choice-choice pag dating sa mga ganito.

oh well, galit na nga eh. wala na ako magagawa. kasi i cheered kanina for others. nahurt ako nung nafeel ko na galit sya. siguro, hindi naman talga kami naging ganun ka-close. i tried my best to get close to him at one time. pero mukhang hanggang dun na lang un. wala akong magagawa. at saka, i cannot please everybody.

basta, sorry.

~ ~ ~

the end begins...

ADN - march 14; wednesday; the fifth...
CC - march 12; monday; the first section i'll say goodbye to... -__-,
DDN - march 13; tuesday; the third...
GSC - march 14; wednesday; the fourth...
SAR - march 12; monday; the second...
SK - march 14; wednesday; the final goodbye...
SDS - march 14;wednesday; the sixth...

... for the last time.... goodbye and thank you....

this time it will be my final heaven...

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

this is how my students blog...

2007-02-24T00:36:00.000+08:00

nag-alarm ako ng 5:45. pero bumangon ako 6:45. gusto ko kasi pumasok ng 7:40 eh. nag-impake pa ako pagkagising. uwi kasi ako pasig. tapos ayun, sakto naman. pagdating ko ng school 7:40 na. pero papunta na mga first year sa PA hall. kasi may homeroom whatever pa kami. tapos ayun, tumakbo tuloy ako kahit sobrang bigat nung backpack ko. tapos punta sa PA hall. badtrip nga lang yung SC kasi sumingit pero ok na rin. revelation ng baby eh.

tapos 2nd perion, SDS. discuss tungkol sa lent. nakakainis kasi length lagi nasasabi ko instead of lent. hay. ang kukulit nung mga nakatayo sa likod. lalo na si edrick. ang kulit sobra. tapos recess, nakita ko si tope. kinwento nya sa akin binully raw sya. nagalit ako pero naawa rin ako kasi ayaw daw nya magsumbong dahil baka balikan daw sya. makulit kasi yun, sobrang makulit. makulit pa kay edrick. pero kahit ganun yun, isa yun sa mga pinakamamahal ko. kaya nag-alala ako. pero kinwento ko sa mga teacher na may concern. haha. tapos ayun, wala akong ginawa after ng recess. kumain lang ng nagaraya at nangasim gumawa ng lesson plan para sa discussion ng lent. hirap kasi magturo ng wala yun eh. haha. hindi ko rin naman natapos kasi nagyaya kumain si ms bevs. so kumain ako. sabi ko pa naman magpapaliit ako ng tiyan. haay nakuh

tapos Sarangani na. ewan ko, pero parang i always look forward dun sa mga araw na magsasarangani ako. eh kasi sila lang un hindi ko napupuntahan madalas. tapos parang laging ambilis ng oras kapag nasa kanila ako. hindi pa ako nag-wish sa klase na to na sana mag-time na dahil wala na akong ituturo dahil laging kapos. anyway, graded recitation ulit. lalong dumami yun nakatayo. tapos ang kulit pa ni franz. sinabi nang wag mag-coach eh. hindi pa rin nakinig. makulit pa rin. kaya ayun, galit-galitan kunwari tapos pinaupo ko sya dun sa teacher's table. dahil malapit kay bestfriend ianne, dinaldal si bestfriend. HULI KA BALBON! ntiyempuhan ko si ianne nang hindi naririnig ang tanong kaya ayun, remain standing tuloy. nyahahaha. tapos si franz, hindi ko na sinasama sa discussion. haha. eh kasi ayaw makinig eh. pero bothered ako, nagalit ata sa akin si franz. hindi na nya ako pinapansin sa labas eh. oh well.

tapos lunch na! ang mali-mali nitong part na to. dapat wala na yung dancing tsaka yung speech speech. para naparami yung kain ko! peste 2 stick lang ng barbeque ang nakain ko. yung cake na para sa akin, hindi ko man lang nakita kung ano itsura. wala. goodluck naman.

after lunch, CC! pinaglinis ko ng PA hall kasi ang dumi-dumi nung lugar. tapos picture-an. inggit ako kay ehmerald kasi nakita ko sa friendster nya may picture sila ni alfred. kaya lagi ko pinapatabi si alfred sa akin kapag picture-an na. haha. ka-level nun si demetillo eh. yung mga makukulit yun yung mga gusto ko. kasi masarap pagtripan. haha.

tapos DDN. last period na! yay! kaya lang tahimik kasi pinagalitan ni ms elena. kasi may mga late. kaya kinuha ko ung mga pangalan ng mga late tapos minus sa quarterly sa ccf. eh kasi late eh, bawal ma-late. eh ako pa naman may pakana nung victory lunch. haha.

tapos, takbo papuntang FBA. kasi may bloodletting event sa audi. ayun, nakatayo lang naman ako ng tatlong oras. 4 to 7. pero at least, nakakita ako ng parents ng kids dun. nakita ko daddy ni marga kasama si kanyang kuya na si carlos. nakita ko mommy ni lawrence and his brother ata. nyehehe. nakita ko si ianne, with his tito and dad na sabi nya kamukha nya raw pero hamak namang mas gwapo ang daddy nya sa kanya. fwahahaha. pero swear. tapos i saw din eileen with her sister and father tapos may kasama pa syang isang babae, di ko alam kung tita nya or nanay nya. basta, feeling ko hindi nya nanay.

hay naku, nasira pa ang bloodletting part ng araw ko. nakita ko kasi si reyben, eh magkausap kami ni sir rene. nakakatawa nga eh, hinahanap nya si sir rene eh katabi ko lang. haha. parang "sir, nakita nyo po si sir rene?" ako: "huh? ito o. (pointing finger exaclty 90 degrees to the arm)." funny. pero nakakainis kasi may kasama siyang other. hindi ko sya kilala pero uminit ulo ko kasi nakakainis yung itsura nya. reminds me of something kumag-ness.

ayun, tapos pahinga konti tapos uwi na pasig. lech. ang hirap sa mrt! ang sikip! tapos ang init pa sa station. ang init din nung train na nasakyan ko. tae, kung kelan summer saka naman hindi freezing cold yun train. tapos sa jeep ok naman. nakakaburaot yung katabi kong girl. hinahangin yung buhok nya sa mukha ko, gusto ko ngang hilain eh. nagpigil lang ako. bwiset. tapos nakarating din ako sa bahay. as usual, my very enthusiasic dog greeted me. tapos ayun, nakipagkulitan muna ako. and i visited her puppies. ang cute! nakakadilat na sila tapos nakakalakad na yun iba. ang cute super. ayun, kain ng take out mcdo. tapos dumating kapatid ko.

tapos niyaya ako ni reyben dota. talo ko sya kasi coached ako ng kapatid ko eh, tsaka ng kaibigan nya. mga adik yun eh. no mets reyben. haha.

whew. thats my day.

and im happy.

~ ~ ~

ang haba! bakit sa mga students ang iikli tapos pag ginaya ko yung format nila mahaba yung kinalalabasan nung sa akin. weird. parang si niah. joke lang k girl. :)

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo, ikazuchi roku-chan?

kumag ka ba?

2007-02-18T12:19:00.000+08:00

weekly blog.

hmm, today is sunday. and as always, a lazy sunday afternoon. with nothing to do, and feeling very sleepy. wasting my time away.

id like to do things for school, but i dont have anything with me because i left it all at school. it was my choice to leave it there. haha.

currently, my table at school is a mess. it has been so since the second quarter. i have been planning to arrange it. but im so tinatamad. nyahahaha.

yesterday was the same as this day. although yesterday, i spent the whole day playing dota. playing with ai, because my ai's busted. but i fixed it and i played with dan and kevin. hahaha. first time playing real time.

and today, i got up. had a chat with marion and nina about some kicking scenes and went to mass. and now, im back in front of the computer writing this blog.

im sooooooooooooooooooooooo lazy.

~ ~ ~

show an effort naman!
all i need is effort and everything will go back to how it was. >:)

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo, ikazuchi roku-kun!

DO NOT!

2007-02-14T19:42:00.000+08:00

you know that im a joker...

if your not ready to joke around with me and you have VERY sensitive with your feelings, DO NOT talk to me.

if your not ready to accept my jokes, do not approach me at all. because if you do get mad because you are saying that i am hurting your feelings, you will not hear the end of it.

and i mean it....

~ ~ ~

makes me angry, really.

~ ~ ~

current mood: angry

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo?

uneasy

2007-02-11T13:17:00.000+08:00

i have been feeling a lot of uneasiness inside lately. and because of this, there have been many important things that i have not done because i want to do some other unimportant things.

to add to this, i have been feeling a little bit of pain. here, in my heart. i dont know. maybe because it is coming real fast. but im teaching myself. im training myself to face that reality. and i have been reasoning with myself with every bit of sweet lemoning that i can muster.

telling myself that "i would still see them next year, that they would still greet me, that they would be the same persons" is kinda hard. in spite of all of these positive things, it will just not be the same. i know, ive learned from the past that there is always goodbyes in hello's. and that i am doing the same mistake again because im focusing to much on farewell and that instead i should cherish every single moment. i am making the same mistake again that i try to move away and detach myself as slowly as possible so that going apart cannot be that hard. but still, im a stubborn learner.

hay. im not myself. im being even more moodier by the minute. i feel like i am always exhausted. and when i sleep, i am not able to close my eyes and open them up seeing the morning sky. i always wake up in the middle of the night, ending a chapter of my subconscious visions, dreams where i am with persons in which i spend most of day with and having fun with them.

first-time mo? yeah, maybe. that's why i am like this. i guess that this is the curse of first timers. and i have been blessed, because i spent it with a fun group of people.

oh well, each rainbow has an end. every rainbow has its brightest moment but it all eventually fades. never to return again.

for me, my rainbow has been very colorful.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo, minna!

correction: worst birthday gift ever...

2007-02-03T11:15:00.000+08:00

on my birthday week, i...

...shouted angrily.
...cried because of anger.
...got disappointed.

on my birthday...

...i got angry and shouted, again.

isn't it great?

it seems that not all people deserve the glory. there are those who become monsters when they receive achievements. it just goes to show that we do not deserve what we have attained.

on my birthday week, my students told me that i'm a worthless values teacher. they told me that they are hypocrites because they look so enthusiastic in my class and have been very friendly to, and when crunch time comes, they spit on my face and tell me that they did not learn anything from.

my monsters have evolved into beasts, because of too much exposure to glory. the leash that ive put on them were torn apart and they fed it to me. what i trusted them with exploded in my face. it seems that what i have been telling them inside the classroom was all left in the classroom.

kalokohan ang CCF. dont worry kids, after one and a half months, you dont have to be plastic because this foolishness would be over.

goodbye, bitches!

~ ~ ~

oh yeah.
and thanks to SK, CC and GENSAN for giving the letters for my birthday. i aprreciate it so much and i just hope that it is true....and sincere.

most especially,
thank you SDS for making me angry on my birthday.

you guys truly are record breakers.

~ ~ ~

as i have said

KARMA is the name of the game...

the best birthday gift ever

2007-01-28T20:59:00.000+08:00

woohoo!

nothing could describe this feeling. we won! what seemed like a dream was finally made into reality. we won first place in the cheering competition. and God even gave more, we were second place in over-all. and we won most disciplined and most organized level. WOOHOO! we won four over five tarpaulins!!! so powerful.

it was me and sir leo's original plan to make history with this batch. and i though this dream was lost when we were practicing because everyone was so stubborn. everyone would not like to participate and everyone was not in rhythm with everyone else's actions. in addition to this, when i saw the costume for the cheerers, i lost all hopes of fighting.

earlier this week, my artistic pride was greatly crushed and pulverized. i was demoralized. like in anime, if their soul is being sucked out, the white bubbles on their eyes diminish and they die. i felt that that was happening to me. the cheerer's costumes were a mess, the cheerdancer's costume were a wreck, the printing of the year level's logo on the intrams shirt was a disaster. everything was not going fine. on practices, people are not participating. people are supposed to meet at 6am in the morning but everyone becomes complete at 7:15, 5 minutes before assembly. there is not a day that i do not shout and get angry at people. i walked out, i shouted my lungs out, i was moody. and i was easily irritated with people approaching and saying "sir, pwede mag-cr?" "sir, hanggang anong oras tayo?" "sir, pwede na bang umuwi?" "sir, pwede bang mag-fountain?"

on the first day of intrams, it was fine. but i got annoyed in the faculty room. *top secret issue* and i had to go to someone else's house to finish the costumes. the dream even became even more foggy on the second day of intrams. i think every minor games the people were defaulted. our championships were lost. goodluck naman! hindi na ako umasa.

when everyone was preparing, i tried so hard not to get mad. but everyone was becoming annoying again. everyone was asking "sir, kelan po ibibigay ang costume?" kahit katabi na nila nung may nagtanong ng ganun, itatanong pa rin. i hate it, i was not given a chance to stay at one place. i was running back and forth. to the faculty dining and into the quarters. back and forth, back and forth. i was so tired and annoyed with everyone.

but when they are in their positions, i cannot hold back my tears. my kids will perform. im so happy. im so happy that i had teary eyes. i was telling everyone "galingan nyo ha. kaya nyo yan. galingan nyo." with a shaky voice and with eyes filling up with tears. my students tell "wag ka umiyak, sir. gagalingan namin." but i cant help it.

and then, they peroformed and i was nervous all this time. i think i was even more nervous than their parents. but when they've finished, i was able to breathe again. i did not expect anything. im just glad that they were able to perform well.

awarding came, and i did not mind any of it. at that time, i know that i will not be able to make my dreams come true. me and sir leo would not be able to make our dreams come true. but then, announcement came. surprised at first, but everyone was wild. the people wearing green were all jumping, there was chaos at our side. happy chaos. if im not mistaken, consecutive announcement of winners and special awards was for us. so people were jumping, screming, crying nonstop. in the pictures, people's mouths were open, smiling screaming. it was so fun. that was the best moment for me, not because of the awards. but because everyone was happy. everyone was excited. gotta love it.

just like what demetillo says....

YEAH BABY!!!!

~ ~ ~

feel the strength! BRIGANTES PREVAILED!

im such a fool for you...

2007-01-21T09:04:00.000+08:00

sunday morning post!

yesterday was such a tiring day. cheering practice sabotaged by mcdo. syet talaga sila, ang tagal dumating ng food namin. and i pity my children for they have not eaten and still they are shouting their hearts out. although not all are really participating, but still i compliment them for doing a good job yesterday. i think that in a way, we have mastered the cheer. but there is still something in me thinks that we could have done a lot more yesterday.

~ ~ ~

i want to tell someone. people that i trust. but i cannot. not with the environment that i have. i simply cannot. things will get complicated if i let this slip out.

aargh! i hate you! you make my life complicated.

~ ~ ~

i thought i am a better person that was made stronger by the past. but now you are making me realize that i am still a fool. fool to forget what i have learned, and fool enough to fall for you eventhough i know that we will never be...

...maybe for now. and i dont know if WE can be in the future. but im hoping...

~ ~ ~

Im sure Im not being rude
But its just your attitude
Its tearing me apart...

but im in so deep
you know im such a fool for you...

...do you have to let it linger?

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

the more you hate the more you love?

2007-01-13T00:09:00.000+08:00

regarding the last post. umaga na nya nabasa, and were ok.

~ ~ ~

today was such a wasteful day.
at napatunayan ko ngayon na nakakahawa ang ka-badtrip-an. kapag nakipag-usap ka sa taong badtrip, mababadtrip ka rin mismo.

~ ~ ~

is it so hard to trust?
magtatanong ka "bakit ka nakasimangot?"
magtatanong ka "bakit mo sya nagustuhan?"

i know that sometimes, there are personal questions that cannot be answered right away. but have i not proven that you can trust me?

~ ~ ~

nakakainis!
nakakainis talaga!!!!!

~ ~ ~

time is running out

~ ~ ~

aww....
ang ngalan nyang angkin
sing ningning ng bituin...

flashbacks...

~ ~ ~

kimi ga suki da to
sakebitai

"i want to shout i love you"

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

guilty!

2007-01-11T21:24:00.000+08:00

guilt

bothered

guilt

bothered

ayoko ng nananakit ng damdamin ng tao. mahilig akong mang-asar, pero hindi ako seryoso sa mga sinasabi ko. isang beses, may inasar ako. tapos biglang umiyak, na-bother ako bigla kasi totoo palang umiyak sya. pero hindi sya umiyak dahil sa pang-aasar ko, malungkot na sya to start with tapos mali yung hirit ko. pero nag-sorry naman ako sa kanya.

alam ko kung kailan ako hihingi ng tawad. kaya lang talaga, minsan nagkakamali ako ng hirit. tao lang din ako, minsan nadadala ng ibang emosyon at naibubuhos sa iba na hindi naman karapat-dapat. and this time, im wrong. sooooo wrong. at ngayon ko lang napagtanto na baka napa-hiya ko sya kasi iba yung kilos nya afterwards. hindi ko sya inasar, hindi ito lunch break o recess. sa classroom, with the other classmates, at nasigawan ko sya.

i am sitting with person "f". just like i always do, nangungulit. nangungulit "silently" while someone was reporting in front (pero nakiking ako sa reporting ha, take note). while i was talking with person "f" the whole class was very noisy (as they always are), and i was getting annoyed. kaya puro "pssst!" "listen!" and "ano ba?!" ang sinasabi ko. pero every 3 mins, bumabalik ang ingay. while i was making asar person "f", i noticed tumayo si person "i" and he approached. at ayokong may tumatayo sa klase lalo na kapag may ginagawa, nagagalit ako. person "i" asked me something, and i answered. all the while i though that he would go back to his seat after i answer his question (that has no relevance to the subject at all), pero mukhang walang balak umupo. i repeat "i dont like student standing when i dont ask them to...."

...so there it is, annoyed by the noise of the class + irritated because the reporters were laughing while speaking + tired because this my last period for the day + a student that is standing and has no plans of going back to his seat = BOOM! "BAKIT NAKATAYO KA? UMUPO KA NGA!"

there goes all of it towards one person. a person that the class (and even I) least expect to be told what to do. i did not notice it during that time but now when i recall it, feeling ko napahiya ko sya. because he acted differently after it.

i said sorry, pero hindi sya nagrereply. waaah!

as i said, i dont like to hurt the feelings of others. especially my students. as much as i hate to say it (because i know that they are reading this), i love my students. and the last thing that i would want to do is hurt their feelings. because i only have little time with them, and i dont want to waste it with these things.

good boy image pa naman to. at feeling ko napahiya ko sya kasi syempre, ganun yung tingin ng mga kaklase nya sa kanya, tapos pinagalitan at nasigawan ko sya sa harap ng mga kaklase nya. i dont make that much of a big deal to students that i scold, lalo na kapag mali talaga yun ginawa. i dont also make such a fuss about these things kahit na ako yung nasa mali, pero nag-sorry naman ako at ok na kami nung person.

syempre, ang sipag ko mag-post dahil na reconnect na yung wifi ko.

basta, sana....

wah!

i hate it. i hate this feeling.

di pa rin nagrereply...im dead.

~ ~ ~

T~T

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

itchy scalp

2007-01-02T02:17:00.000+08:00

its 2:37 am.

blog before sleeping.

nakakapagod sa likod at kamay ang araw na to. i had to finish checking everything dahil magchecheck pa ako ng notebook sa wednesday. argh. buti na lang ready na ako. natapos ko rin. haha. kaya lang may mga seatwork na walang pangalan. nakakainis.

ayun lang. thats pretty much my day. aside from ending the day with sailormoon dvd marathon and blogging.

~ ~ ~

"hey"
"hey"
"missing that person again?"
"yeah...somekinda."
"bakit may somekinda?"
"wala lang. basta. complicated eh."
"ahh."
"basta. sayang hindi ko sya nakita bago kami maghiwalay. pakipot eh. galit-galitan kunwari. haha..."
"engot ka kasi. marami kang pag-iinarte sa buhay."
"ganun talaga ako. yaan mo na."

"yah."

"..."

"that song running again on your head."
"yeah..."

"...kono hoshi ga taira nara futari deaete nakatta."
"...if the world is flat, we would not have met."

~ ~ ~

the world going around made us impossible, but otherwise i would have not known that a person like you existed.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

3:27 am

2006-12-28T03:27:00.000+08:00

this is the time that i have been sleeping since the christmas break. and i have been waking up at 12pm the earliest. goodness, my body clock is so messed up right now.

and there other things that are messed up in my life right now, such as...

1.) i'm still not done checking the papers yet and i have to submit the "children's" grades by the we return to school.

2.) my body clock is messed up.

3.) i have not memorized or familiarized myself in anyway to the schools policy chenavu that is needed for the upcoming ISO chenelyn.

4.) i am sooooo procrastinating with RF and the DVD player all throughout y vacation

5.) i've made excuses from get-together with friends. its not that i dont want to be with them. its just that i want more time at home and avoid spending too much (see next rant re:spending). im not an outdoor person, you know.

6.) i have spent A LOT of money when this vacation started. and i mean A LOT! my bonus and 13 month pay disintigrated right before my very eyes. and these were spent on things that exist to feed my cravings. in short, wants s'ya hindi need. *sigh*

7.) the internet bill. period.

8.) did i mention that my body clock is messed up?

9.) oh yeah, the two big rats are still here.

10.) lastly, my desktop computer's keyboard is being housed by ants. tons of them. mga 11 henerasyon.

11.) good luck sa body clock! matutulog na ako.

~ ~ ~

uploaded new pics at christianpeter.multiply.com

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

words cannot express how i feel....

2006-12-18T13:08:00.000+08:00

...so i'll show through a picture

~ ~ ~

thanks for all these! i have'nt had these much presents for christmas before. as in ever. seriously. and it made me so happy.

thank you guys. you know who you are.

:X

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

quickie...

2006-12-12T18:32:00.000+08:00

location: zion computer shop in bf

decided to play here since i still have load (in my RF account) and i dont want to go home early.

im still at ship, waiting for it to arrive (in-game) and i have nothing to do so ill blog.

im so excited for the intrams. even if it will just be for two days, exciting pa rin. more bonding time with the kids. well, last bonding moment for us anyway. because IT is near.

~ ~ ~

wuhahahaha. had the "talk" again with that kid. and this time, more straight to the point topics. nyahahaha. we talked about one of his classmates. it made me felt sad though. that kid was once one of my favorite students. but now, it seems he has "lost interest" in the subject. i made him my favorite because he used to be so active in class. and there was one time that he was the only that was able to answer a question that no one was able to know. but now, i think he does not care anymore about the discussions. oh well, i cant make everyone like me. ("like" in this sentence is used in two ways: in tagalog i cant make everyone "gustuhin" me. AND i cant make everyone "katulad" me.) 'cause im so magaling. bwahahaha.

fortunately, i hold HIS and EVERYONE'S recitation grade. so too bad for you. nyaahahaha.

~ ~ ~

lots of evil laughs in this post.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo, minna!

2 BIG rats are frolicking behind me....seriously

2006-12-07T23:03:00.000+08:00

ive been bothered, no, scared by the 2 rats chasing behind my back as i post this journal. i can hear them banging on the narra chairs and their squeaking. man! makes me wanna buy rat poison first thing tomorrow morning.

henniway....

circumstances force me to post another blog. WALA NANG LOAD ANG RF ACCOUNT KO!. goshness. kaya i'll blog na lang.

guess what i will be blogging for tonight. yep, you guessed it. i'll be talking about my students and high school life all over. high school life in a teacher's perspective. hay...

anyway, its about the kids. i hate those kids! and you know why?? it's because...

...there was this one afternoon that i had to look for offerors for next day's mass. but it seems that those people who i GREATLY trust turned their backs at me. well, most of them. so i was fuming mad at everyone that day. especially at my so-called "anak" (according to his classmates) because he was trying my patience when i have no more patience to have him try at all. you probably ask why did this become a reason? well, i was so bothered by this that it even haunted me at my dreams. i was not able to sleep that night because i kept on waking up every few hours or so. its as if i did not sleep at all. that's why the next day, my head ached all day long. i felt so weak. and felt so grumpy. my body never ACHED that much before. para akong ni-rape! (not that i've experienced it before, but you know what i mean.)

...they could be overly childish. but sometimes, innocence could make one think mature. there was this one kid that i talked to. i never thought that we would be able to talk like that ever because i never really liked him and his section that much. but after i was able to talk with him, i think i'm liking 2 out of 37 person in his class. haha. but i dont hate their class. its just that, im not that close with them. but i had fun talking with him because he was really open to the things that i am saying about him and his classmates. so there.

...i missed them today. i did not went with them on their field trip. i chose not to. i did this to SHOW the eyes that are watching that i would like to keep my job. kasi nga, there is the rule: bawal maging close sa studyante. and if i dont comply, i would be dead. just like one of my co-teachers said, "mga teacher sa seton ay makina." no feelings, no anything. just do your job and produce quality students. but i cant help it, QUALITY LASALLIAN EDUCATION (which i my parents paid 30 thousand+ every three months for at least four years) taught me that it is not enough that teachers should stand as teachers to their students. they should also make the students feel comfortable to as to instill in them the lasallian quote, which is to "teach minds, touch hearts and transform minds." hay, irony. how i love you.

...they make me realize certain things. and i greatly HATE them for this one. it goes something like this. one night, i was watching pinoy dream academy. i was about to sleep then so i was lying down. in this episode of PDA, the voice teachers were switching students. the students they had since the series started. there was this one teacher that cried because she was letting her students go. while she was holding back her tears, she said shakingly that she wants to see them shine more and she wants to see them succeed. and how does this relate to me? well, when i was watching this particular part, i was able to look forward. the month of march, the last day of ccf. that last time i will say "good morning, class." the last time i will face them in front of the class as their ccf teacher of their first year in high school. my last words. and before i finally say "goodbye, class." i will also tell them that i want to see them shine, to see them succeed, to see that they have learned something from me by being a good kid. (syempre naiiyak ako habang sinusulat ko to. pinipigil ko lang dahil katabi ko ang kapatid ko. >.< ) i know that this will soon happen. i know that someday, i will have to let go. someday, i will have to accept again the fact that some good things cannot be experienced again. and the reason that i am feeling this way was that i am still not ready. there are some more things that i have to teach them. maybe not all of them are from inside the classroom, but as their friend outside. i am not sure even if all those kids that i consider myself "close" to are real, are a true person to me. BUT I AM TRUE TO THEM. that's how i am trustful of people. that is how lenient i give my trust to them. inspite of all the shortcomings ang heartache. i HATE them because they remind me that i am weak. that deep inside, i am iyakin. i HATE them because i had a hard time holding back my tears and hiding my sniffing from my roommates. grr.

..lastly, i HATE them because they make me feel young. /gg

~ ~ ~

goodbyes are so painful. just like what the song said "the problem with hello is goodbye." i guess, life is like a period of ccf. it starts with a good morning or with a good afternoon. it is always good even if the teacher is not feeling well. it is always good even if not all the students respond to the greeting. it is always good even if the teacher walked out the last meeting because of the noise. and it is always good even if the students does not have an assignment or the teacher does not have a lesson plan prepared for the class. but it always end with a goodbye and thank you. ending the class, realizing that time was too fast. wishing that ccf would be just like the basic subjects. meeting five times day because three times a day is not enough and having a double period at that. but we cant have everything that we wish for.

~ ~ ~

ano ba to! march na ba? parang pang march na ang blog ko ah!

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

the best!

2006-11-24T19:35:00.000+08:00

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

mad!

2006-11-12T21:35:00.000+08:00

hay nako! its been an hour, at down pa rin ang server ng RF! grrr...

guess its time to blog....

~ ~ ~

walang kotse! argh! mag-co-commute ako bukas papasok. i hate it. sana hindi ako ma-late.

currently feels: bothered...
there's this one student, bumaba siya ng 11 points from the first grading. well, i think he deserved it but his mom does not. naawa ako sa mommy nya nung nakausap ko. it ended up na bine-blame ng mommy nya yung sarili nya for not being a responsible mother. hay naku....kids....hindi nila nare-realize na parents nila ang sinasaktan nila for their irresponsibility. ang dali-dali na nga ng subject ko eh, kahit hindi ka masyado mataas sa mga quiz basta magpasa ka lang ng mga pinapapasa ko solve na. but no. may iba talagang matigas. eh di patigasan na lang. bwahaha.
pero bothered pa rin ako. tsaka feeling ko galit sa akin ung batang yun. i even dreamt na kinausap ko daw siya. ahahaha. yeah...ganun ako ka-bothered. but im not bothered that i gave that grade, bothered ako dahil i treasure the relationship i have with my students. :)

~ ~ ~

my butt hurts, ive been sitting in front of the computer for five hours now. at ang highlight ng aking paglalaro ang siyang hinadlangan pa ng pagkasira ng RF-altrax server. nakakainis talaga.

~ ~ ~

bothered yet again...

chismoso daw ako sabi ni T_ _ _ _ _. well, actually oo. pero hindi ko na kailangan mag-exert ng effort dahil ang balita na ang lumalapit sa akin. and i felt bothered about one kwento.
about this girl and about this boy. basta, bottom line.....hindi lang pala ako ang malungkot nung valentine's day 2006. can't believe na sa ganung age, may ganung chever na. ayuzz! ( kadiri, papakabagets. amputs! ) i felt sad for the boy...

well, past is past....
move on na kasi!
nakapag-move on na ako, ano beh!
wooh, whatever!
totoo naman, bahala ka. busy ako. wala akong panahon dyan.
yeah right. keep telling that to yourelf.
moved on na talaga! resourceful pa nga eh!

(there was a moment of silence. then suddenly...)

bwahahaha! (laughed together)

***just had a conversation with another lifeform inside of me

~ ~ ~
isshouni asobo!

its so nice to be happy...

2006-11-06T22:27:00.000+08:00

i was 40 minutes late, for the first time in four months.....

i have cough, which bothers me whenever i talk. imagine how hard it is for me to teach......

i am SO not prepared to teach today, i have no lesson plan and i forgot how to teach Jonah.....

but I'm happy!

one of my students asked me, "sir, bakit ang saya nyo ngayon?" o dont know exactly. it seems that my co-teacher was right (ms. bevs). if you start your day with a good mood, it would be good all the way.

and today, everything seems to go best! i love this day! i love it!
the reason........nothing. everything seems to go fine. No, everything seems to go best. every good thing seems to fall in place. i was not bothered by students who dont greet me. i was not bothered by noisy, unattentive, uninterested students. no bitches today, thank goodness. love it! i have a new text mate (minus ten ha, kapag kumalat yan. /gg). have a new testi. have new friends (halatang kachecheck lang ng friendster). i was able to visit our family doctor today. and i am glad that he is still alive and healthy for he is very kind to me and my family. i have a new "teasing-punchbag."

basta, the best!

~ ~ ~

my line for today....
"our religion is a religion of love.....that's why we should not be ashamed of saying we love our friends."

oooh.....cheeeeeesy! XD
but i love my friends, i love all of them. so to all my friends, you know who you are.
LOVE YA'LL!

~ ~ ~

"one is only.....born.....to.....LIVE!"
isshouni asobo, minna?

namamasyal...

2006-11-02T15:23:00.000+08:00

uber bored.
sleep, RF, sleep, RF. yan ang routine ko ngayong araw na 'to.
and now im all alone!! umalis silang lahat, punta ng MOA.

kakatapos ko lang mag-RF, tinatamad na ako. matutulog muna ako

NGUNIT! i decided to do something instead. nagffriendster account hopping ako. wahahaha.

nakakatuwa ang aking mga anak-ers. ang cu-cute nila nung elementary. hahaha. cuteness.
yun lang. inaantok na ako. at hindi ko pa nagagawa ang mga dapat gawin para sa school huwebes na! OMG!

wala akong ituturo sa lunes, pakshet.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

wala akong load!

2006-11-01T08:37:00.000+08:00

walang load RF ko, at maaga pa. wala pa ata akong mabibilhan ng load ngayon. grr. magbblog muna ako...

kapag nakikipag-usap ako sa mga studyante ko, im always reminded of the things i encountered during my high school days. parang lahat ng kinukwento nila sa akin, naranasan ko na. kaya alam ko how they felt. hindi ko lang sila mapangunahan para matuto sila. hay. ganun pala ang feeling kapag tumatagal ka sa mundo.

this "kid," reminds of certain people in my high school memories. the type of person that when he knows that someone has a crush on him, he tends to be mayabang. i saw this kid frown when i told his class that we will watch a movie together with another section. and in this section, there is this girl that has a crush on him (which the whole batch knows about). but when i asked this boy, he said that the reason he frowned was because of his classmates' kaartehans. oh well, hope its true. if its not, better move on girl!

this "kid" made me realize that no matter how close i am to my students, there are some secrets that they could not share to me. AS IF it matters to me if i came to know it or not. it is not my intention to know what the secret is, i would just like to know if they trust me or not. oh well, it seems that behind all those suckin-up, i guess that theres no full trust yet. plastic? maybe yes, maybe no. i think all those conversation IS sucking-up after all. well.....good job, boy.......your sucking up worked. look at your ARC!

~ ~ ~

i had the kids watch "waterboys." gustung-gusto ko magbantay lalo na nung first part ng movie. hindi na ako nanonood, pinapanood ko na lang ang reaction ng mga bata sa movie. dun sa first part, may nakakatawang part. ung first performance. nakakatawa sya pero mas nakakatawa yung mga studyante. tawa sila ng tawa, na yun iba nakatayo na sa upuan dahil hindi daw sila makahinga sa kakatawa. hahahaha. super fun. love it.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo?

cant figure out my tag-board...

2006-10-15T09:29:00.000+08:00

somethings wrong with it.
anyway...

~ ~ ~

yesterday was such super special day. hay. hindi ko mapigilang ngumiti nung nakita ko sya. haha. akala ko hindi ko na siya makikita ulit EVER.
una, masaya ang gising ko kasi napanaginipan ko siya. matagal-tagal na rin na hindi ko siya napapanaginipan. and its been i think 6 years since huli ko siyang nakita.
masaya ako nung morning kasi siya yung nasa panaginip ko. hindi ko pa nga maalala nung una kung bakit masaya yung panaginip ko kasi nakalimutan ko agad. hehe. pero naalala ko naman.
tapos ayun, pag-uwi ko ng pasig at habang papunta ako sa computer shop (para maglaro, bwahaha), nakita ko siya sa kalsada may binabasa siya at hinihintay niya ata ang kaibigan niya.
hindi niya ako nakita, at wala akong balak tawagin siya para batiin. ok na sa akin yung nakita ko siya. hayers! super fun talaga. i love it.

~ ~ ~

"sir, galit pa ba kayo sa amin? sorry po." this came from a girl na hindi ko inexpect na manggagaling sa kanya. akala ko kasi isa siya sa mga walang pakelam sa subject ko. pero im glad na mali ang perception ko sa kanya. or baka binobola lang ako nito. paawa effect. haha. pero naisip ko rin na hindi ko dapat idamay ang iba sa galit ko sa iilan. di ba? di ba?

~ ~ ~

for my AVID readers.... (nyeheheheh)
military secrecy. nyeta. :P

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

tara na! byahe tayo. nang ating makita ang ganda ng pilipinas...

2006-10-07T08:00:00.000+08:00

first stop....

GENERAL SANTOS CITY!
- - - so far, ive been proud of them. kulang na lang ay ang kanilang disiplina sa loob ng classroom okay na. and there's one kid there that has really been improving (for my subject, at least). feeling ko parent na ako, and im really proud kapag nakikita kong may effort ng pagbabago.

next...

DAVAO DEL NORTE!
- - - my day is constantly destroyed whenever i go to this classroom. they are not who they used to be in the first quarter. especially this one girl. SORRY HA! im just telling you to sit properly angd stop talkin to the person in front of you. mantakin mo na taasan ako ng kilay at irapan at hindi ako pinansin. nilapitan ko nga at pinagsabihan. iha...wag mo akong subukan. mas magaling akong magalit at mang-irap. baka tumambling ka kapag pinatulan kita.

and then...

SULTAN KUDARAT!
- - - what can i say. i think they are improving. and they are going the hierarchy. hahaha. except for this one person. anyway, lets continue...

SARANGANI!
- - - very disappointing. dahil sa isang kandila, na-disappoint ako. hay nako. and plus! they're very noisy. i think i should stop being nice to these kids. they are showing me that they do not deserve to be nice-d.....go! solar boys!

next destination...

AGUSAN DEL NORTE...
- - - from what ive heard, three teachers na ang nagagalit sa kanila. especially the noisy girls. hay nakuh. goodluck naman. buti na lang. buti na lang talaga creme kayo.

lets fly to....

COTABATO CITY...
- - - ang extension ng aking club. the H.O.E. club annex. Hell On Earth. enough said.

lastly...

SURIGAO DEL SUR...
- - - land of the N.I.P.S. students. Not In Proper Seat students. daig pa ang mga letters ng text twist. hindi mo na kailangan pindutin ang space bar para mag-rotate ng silya ang mga batang to. buti sana kung lumilipat para may makita ang mga nakasulat sa board at masilayan nila kung gano ako kagaling magturo. but no, hindi. nag-iingay lang. eh kung sino pa yung malalakas ang loob mag-ingay, sila pa yung mga walang naibubuga. except for luisa, kasi maingay talaga and sadly white-card holder. :(

pagod na ako. uuwi na ako sa pasig.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

i think im raising monsters....

2006-09-28T02:53:00.000+08:00

habang tumatagal, parang lalong lumalala ang aking mga bata. nakakaasar, habang tumatagal ang period umiingay din. ang hirap na nga magsalita, sasabayan ka pa. kaya minsan, nakakainis na rin manaway. hindi na rin kinakaya ng silence technique dahil 5 minutes later andyan na naman sila. hay nako! everyone is acting the same, walang creme creme. lahat parehas ng asal.

iniisip ko tuloy, "paano kapag naging 2nd year tong mga to?" kapag naging second year sila, kung ano ang ugali nila ngayon ay either magwworsen or gaganda dahil they have finally adjusted to high school and they have higher authority since they are not freshmen anymore. BUT. knowing these kids, feeling ko lalala. hay. and what's frustrating about this is that they all passed through me, being their "values" teacher im responsible for their behavior outside and inside the classroom. in one way or another, i SHOULD influence them to be PROPER persons. NGUNIT SUBALIT DATAPWAT! hindi ata tumatalab ang powers ko.

*sigh*

at this rate, i feel that i failed my co-teachers. i failed the institution that hired me. i failed to be an effecient teacher as i could be. i was not able to do the job that was given to me. i still have 2 quarters left for this batch. i cant really think positive about this, because that would be too much.

and knowing THESE CHILDREN, proud pa sila na tawagin ko silang little monsters and devils based on their attitudes.

taena..............

~ ~ ~

hindi, aaron. hindi ikaw yun no! :P

~ ~ ~

"sir, kung bawal yun bakit sinabi mo? so nagkasala ka na rin?.............sana sinulat mo na lang sa board."
----- another line from LITTLE MISS BITCHY.

and the gawad urian-13 year old bitch award goes to......

~ ~ ~
byakugan lang ang katapat!

isshouni asobo!

what's the other word for........female dog? >:(

2006-09-24T00:43:00.000+08:00

hay naku, the week would have been fine for me.
if it wasn't for some annoying and BRATTY students that ive had this week.

ok na sana eh, akala ko wala na akong students na hindi ko gusto (kasi yung iba, ok na sila sa akin. feeling ko naramdaman nila na ayaw ko sa kanila. OR nabasa nila ang blog ko. HAHA)

but no! meron pa ring isang nananatili sa listahan. isa na lang naman siya in all fairness, at may isang nadagdag.

hay naku! yung una, nakakaasar! reklamadora. paulit-ulit daw yung sinasabi ko! HELLER! bakit hindi ko uulitin? eh teacher ako? g*g* ka ba?! "hay nako si sir, paulit-ulit yAng line na yan. every meeting sinasabi." at ito pa. "ahahahaha. karapata raw, eh garapata yun. hahahaha. mali si sir." AY! SORRY NAMAN! PERFECT KA KASI EH! IF YOUR SO PERFECT, DAPAT WALA KA SA SKUL. DI KA NA DAPAT MAG-ARAL DAHIL ALAM MO NA DAPAT ANG LAHAT!!!!!!!

second person, "sir, bakit hindi niyo alam? dapat alam mo yan, teacher ka eh!" ENOUGH SAID.

ang daming perfect sa mundo no? nakakainis, akala mo kung sino magsalita. akala mo kagagaling eh ni hindi man lang maka-perfect sa quizzes ko. goodness!

HA! tignan natin kung nakanino ang huling halakhak!

~ ~ ~

"you know what you gonna do when life gets you down? just keep swimming!"
OO, FAVORITE KO TO AT WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAA KANG PAKIALAM. PAKIALAMERA KA, KUNG AYAW MO SA MGA SINASABI KO WAG KANG MAKINIG!
(see intense anger)

~ ~ ~

first blood goes to.....................

whoo!

2006-09-09T09:50:00.000+08:00

after weeks, nakapag-post na rin ulit! yehey!

weekly blog!

it was a fun week. pero ang daming gagawin. parang magmula nitong week na to, motto ko na sa buhay ko ang: bawal magpahinga"

grabe, ang daming che-check-an. hindi pa ako tapos, may nadagdag na naman. waargh! pero ok lang.

hay naku, PTC nung last week. nakakatawa yung first ever parent na nakausap ko, nahalatang kinakabahan ako. pero magmula noon, ang dami ko nang parent na nakakausap so medyo nasasanay na ako. wala namang nangaaway sa akin so far kaya ok lang. hehe.

hay naku, things are turning around this quarter. yung section na kagalit ko nung first quarter sila naman yung matino ngayon, while the other six sila naman yung pumapalpak at nagpapasaway. kainis ha.

anyway, alam kong nakakatamad magbasa ng mahabang blog. kaya stop na ko.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

excited!

2006-08-19T23:19:00.000+08:00

andaming mangyayari ngayong week na 'to! andaming activities.

super excited! siguradong paguran na naman ang linggong ito.

at sigurado akong pagkatapos nitong linggong ito, nakatambak na naman ang trabaho ko. waaah!

~ ~ ~

6 plus 1 equals 7! yehey!

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!
lord, tulungan nyo po ako sa LET ko. T_T

nakakapagod!

2006-08-13T07:34:00.000+08:00

natapos din ang quarterly sa wakas! pero in fairness, sumakit ang kamay ko sa kaka-check ng mga papel. taena! buti sana kung nakaka-inspire mag-check, ang daming bumagsak. religion na lang, binabagsak pa. shet. bahala sila.
~ ~ ~
monday: ok lang. dalawang subject akong nagproctor. (sa seton kasi, pnaghahalo yung mga bata. ung girls, nililipat ng room. tapos yung mga teacher, nagttake turns para magproctor.) ok lang, puro third year-fourth year ang pngprotoctoran ko. nung first time ko mag-proctor, kinabahan ako. first time eh, akala ko hihimtayin ako. nyehehe.
pagkatapos ng exams, nagdeliberation ang mga level teachers. first time ko ulit. kaya hindi ako masyadong nakapag-speak out. anong ginagawa sa deliberation? pinaguusapan ng mga teachers at nag-aagree sila sa grade ng mga bata tungkol sa kanilang ugali. NGUNIT! hindi ako nahiyang magsabi ng grade ko dun sa mga studyante na kailangang may JUSTICE sa kanilang pag-uugali sa subject ko. (refer to previous post). *evil laugh

tuesday: wala akong proctoring this day! woohoow! kaya i have to make my correction sa manila paper. tangina! labing-apat na paulit-ulit kong sinulatan ang mga papel na yun. pero ok lang. astig ako eh. haha. labo

wednesday: super nakakapagod! may tatlong subject ngayon. proctoring ako ng first subject sa isang pasaway na section (kung may makakabasa nito....oo, kayo yun CC! haha). tapos floater naman ako the next (floater = subject ko na kasi yung exam. so kailangan magpakalat-kalat para pag may mga studyante na hindi marunong umintindi ng instructions at hindi makabasa ng matino, andyan ka para tanungin). pagkatapos nun, proctor ulit ako. NAKAKAPAGOD TALAGA! as iiiiiiiiiin! sumakit ang likod, binti at balikat ko. peste.

thursday: kailangangang matapos mag-check para mapakita ko na agad sa kanila. mejo sucessful ang pagchecheck, kasi isang section lang ang hindi ko natapos. hehe. kakaiba ang araw na 'to. sa araw na ito, pito na ulit ang section ng aking mga anakers. 7 section na ulit sila. nakipag-ayos na ako sa section na ayaw ko. haha. sabi ko naman kasi sa sarili ko na mapansin lang nila na galit ako sa kanila, makikipag-bati na ako eh. kasi nung exam days habang naglalakad ako, may tumawag sa aking student. sabi niya, "sir, galit ba kayo sa amin? sa ______?" ayun. siguro kahit isa lang siyang nakapansin, ok na rin. pwede na yun. ang sabi ko naman kung sino yung may gustong bumati sa akin sa labas ng classroom, sa kanila lang ako magiging friendly. kawawa kasi yung ibang kaklase nung nasa section na yun kung galit ako sa lahat sa kanila. tulad nga ng sabi ko, "yung mga may ayaw sa akin, ayaw ko rin sa inyo." kung ayaw nyo sa akin, you're missing a big part of your life. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

~ ~ ~
friday: freshmen and sophomores night! astig ang gabing ito. but i had to go home early. gustuhin ko mang makihalubilo sa mga student, mahirap lalo na't may mga matang nakatingin. bawal kasi yung masyadong friendly sa mga bata. BAWAL, polisiya ng paaralan ito. buti sana kung kaya ng mga students na ipaglaban ako kung sakaling chugihin ako. eh hindi, they dont have a say. kaya yun na lang, marami pa naman pagkakataon eh.
karugtong nito, naisip ko rin na siguro ok lang din na wala ako dun. naisip ko na baka hanapin ako ng mga students ko. pero naisip ko rin na ok lang yun, teacher lang naman nila ako. pagkatapos ng kanilang taon, malabong magkrus muli ang aming mga landas. yuck, drama. pero basta, ill cherish every moment of this. 2nd quarter pa lang naman, marami pang mangyayari.
~ ~ ~
hoy! military secrecy ha!
"what i see, what i hear. when i leave, i leave it here."
~ ~ ~
isshouni asobo!

military secrecy

2006-08-05T10:34:00.000+08:00

ito ang dapat tandaan ng mga pumupunta dito sa blog ko. LALUNG LALO NA ANG MGA MAG-AARAL. ok ba? ano ba ang military secrecy?

"what you see, what you hear, when you leave, you leave it here."

OK?! kundi bagsak kayo sa CCF. haha! /gg

anyway....

hay naku. hay naku talaga! ive beginning to teach myself to care for 7 sections again in the first year. ok naman sila nung biyernes eh, siguro dahil graded recitation kaya wala silang choice kungdi maging mabait sa akin. pero naisip ko rin na kawawa naman yung ibang students na gustong makipag-bonding sa akin, nadadamay sila sa katarayan at kasungitan ng classmates nila. bilangin ko nga, sinu-sino nga ba sila....

si m
si v
si a
si v
si j

ayan lang muna, hindi ko maalala yung iba. hindi pa pala nila kayang bumuo ng isang section. bwahahahaha! wag kayo mag-alala, ayaw ko rin sa inyo.

"out of my face, out of my face!"

(insert evil laugh)

ja ne!

~ ~ ~
isshouni asobo!

weekly blog...

2006-07-29T08:05:00.000+08:00

here's my week...

monday, walang pasok dahil may bagyo. woohoo!!!
tuesday, walang pa rin pasok. ano ba?! sana wednesday din walang pasok!
wednesday, may pasok na! aaw.
thursday, mikesell ng mga bagets (somekinda like an outreach). masaya kasi may picture. nyehehe. tsaka ok kasama yung isang section kahit na ganun sila kaingay. ahahaha.
friday, hmmmnn....

may mga bagay na bumabagabag sa aking isipan. sabi ko nga, "kung pagsasama-samahin ko yung mga taong FEELING KO ayaw sa akin o hindi gusto ang subject ko (yung mga tipong tataasan ka ng kilay kapag tinawag mo sila sa recitation at dadabugan ka), kaya nilang bumuo ng isang section. hay nako! wag kayong mag-alala, ayaw ko rin sa inyo! BWAHAHAHA. ang masama lang dito, minsan nadadamay ko ang buong section nila sa pagsusungit ko. pero OK LANG. lahat naman sila dun masungit sa akin. heller! isang section lang kayo, i have 6 more section that loves me. isa lang kayo.

sayang. sayang talaga. favorite ko pa naman kayo noon. nung mga unang linggo ng pasukan. mapansin nyo lang na masungit ako sa inyo, bati na tayo. at least, it shows na sensitive kayo. pero mukhang hindi. well, what do you expect? MGA GRADE 6 LANG KAYO NA PINATANDA NG APAT NA BUWAN. whatever! bahala kayo.

~ ~ ~
isshouni asobo!!!

here we go again...

2006-07-22T19:06:00.000+08:00

what the?!
identity crisis all over again?!?!
i dont think so!!! ...........i think.
i think? hahahaha.
bahala na. basta.
basta, burglar ako. snatcher in fact, cradle snatcher. nyahahahahaha.

second post since the first day and were about to have the first quarter exams.
good thing i finished everything that i need to do for it.
hahaha.
but i had to go home at 830 pm everyday in the past week.

but i love it.
i soooo love this feeling.

hahaha.

brain damage.
gotta run.

~ ~ ~
isshouni asobo, sensei?

ang unang laban, simulan na!

2006-06-13T17:28:00.000+08:00

siyet! bukas na ang first ng high school sa seton. OMG! magtuturo na ako. at wala pa rin akong lesson plan para sa orientation.

kasalukuyan akong nasa isang internet shop dito sa las piñas at nagpapalipas ng oras bago umuwi. kasi pag umuwi na ako, ibig sabihin dapat simulan ko na ang paggawa ng lesson plan. pang orientation pa lang naman ang dapat nilalaman nun eh, pero hanggang ngayon, wala pa rin ako naiisip na house rules at mga requirements para sa aking subject. hay-ers.

in fairness! co-adviser ako! hahaha. ng ADN. kaya lang mukhang masungit yung adviser, hindi ako pinapansin. nagtataray pa ang mukha nung sinabi ni ms babes na ako ung co adviser nya. ay peste, bahala na.

wala pa rin kami uniform! last week pa raw ng june. so bukas, para pa rin akong practicumer dahil naka-business attire ako. mwahahaha. feeling nag-aaral pa. hehehe. sana lang sumunod sa akin bukas ang mga bata sa flag ceremony kapag sinaway ko sila.ang hirap eh! 720am kailangan nasa skul na ako. syet-ers!

~ ~ ~

lets fade together tangina!
kailangan mo lang pala ako tanggalin sa buhay mo para tumaba ka. bwahahaha.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo, sensei? (naks, sensei na. nyehehe)

first sweldo ever! woohoo!

2006-06-10T17:49:00.000+08:00

must....

resist....

spending....

hahahaha. ayun.

mag-iipon ako, bibili ako ng bagong phone! ipapakita kong mali si ck, makakapag-ipon ako!!!

humayo ka't makipaglandian

2006-05-30T21:29:00.000+08:00

430am - umasa pa ako dadating si winkle on time. kaya ayun, nakatunganga ako sa 711 habang nakikita ang isang bystander na naka-bonnet at naka-shades (kahit madilim pa noon dahil madaling araw pa rin) na nakikipagchikahan sa isa pang bystander at kahawig ni kuya hector and naka-bonnet.
530am - dumating si winkle. nalaman ko na si kuya hector nga ang nakatambay sa labas.
550am - nakarating kami sa harap ng PRC. nakatambay. habang ako'y naiihi na. buti na lang bukas ang chowking ng mga 715.
800am - nagbukas ang gate ng PRC. leche ang mga bystander sa kabilang kalye, nakipagsiksikan sa harap.at kami namang mga nakalusot na sa guard, takbo pataas sa 5th floor para kumuha ng application form. imagine mcdo mcnuggets commercial kaya lang pataas sa stairs. parang ganun. nakakatawa.
800am to 3pm - oras ng paghihirap. hell on earth. puro singitan. sweaty bodies. 10peso-pamaypay power. overpricing of government items. misbehaving FEU students. revelation na wala palang scanner ang UST. at init ng ulo. basta, i swear to God! ang init! nakalimutan ko pa magdala ng extra shirt.

pagkatapos nun ay kumain kami ni winks sa dencio's araneta at umuwi na. achuli, nagpunta pa ako ng megamall at nagpakapagod further dahil sa pamimili ng medyas, panyo at iba pa.

~ ~ ~

tangina! reality check: 1st quarter pa lang ang natatapos ko sa plantilla. at wala pa ako medical certificate. wala na rin akong pera. kailangan ko nang humingi kay mother.
may pupuntahan pa naman ako sa weekend. sana siputin ako this time.
ayon nga kay doctora...
"humayo ka't makipaglandian. but be on your guard."

hay. sana may future. kaya lang another hottie. im afraid of hotties. di ba, mitzelle? hahaha. shems.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

galit. poot. pagod.

2006-05-29T19:32:00.000+08:00

hay naku! ang mga bagay na pumpe-pressure sa akin ay pressure pa rin.
1.) lecheng plantilla! hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin ako tapos!
2.) medical certificate! wala pa rin ako. sabi may daw dapat meron na. natatakot ako kunan ng dugo. huhuhu.
3.) the fact na hindi na ako titira sa amin. wah. pero gusto ko rin naman lumiban muna, pero ang hirap ng titirahan ko eh. nakakahiya kay lola. :))

basta!

~ ~ ~

kailangan kong i-meet si winkle sa 7-11 sa may la salle ng 5am! OMG! kainis talaga ang government offices!! wala na ngang sistema, hindi pa aircon ang opisina. hate is such a strong word, so i'll use it on you.
sa mga ganitong panahon, nagagalit ako sa pilipinas. at sasabayan pa ng kapalpakan ng LRT. kung kelan init na init na ako sa panahon, puro maiikling tren ang dumadaan. yung tipong nung 1980's pa pinagawa na kasabay nung pagbubukas ng LRT. yung mga tren na pang populasyon lang ng pilipinas nung mga panahon na yun! basta, nakakagalit ang pilipinas.

~ ~ ~

nakakapagod maglakad sa MOA (mall of asia, hindi memorandum of agreement). haha.

ultimate pressure

2006-05-21T20:26:00.000+08:00

wah!
malapit na magpasukan. malapit na rin magtrabaho. actually, mejo nagsstart na rin ako sa seton. pero parang sobrang ngayon pa lang, feeling ko nasestress na ako. sheeet!
pressure kasi ang work, pressure pati yung lecheng LET na yan.

aaah! hindi bagay ang maraming gagawin para sa isang tamad na tulad ko!

~ ~ ~
im so pressured!

the day i was reminded that...

2006-05-12T14:59:00.000+08:00

... i hate the weather!
kung kailan hindi kailangan ng ulan, saka umulan. peste. kung kelan may kailangan akong puntahan at mag-abang ng masasakyan sa isang lugar na walang bubong saka naman uulan. shet talaga.

...i hate taxi drivers!
sa iilang beses na sumasakay ako ng taxi, mabibilang ko lang ang mgg driver na naging mabait sa akin. shet sila. tangina, dapat hinuhuli yung mga maarte at ayaw magsakay. kung kelan umuulan, saka naman sila nagdadamot. kaya hindi umaasenso buhay niyo dahil maaarte kayo, tangina nyong mga driver kayo. sana manatili kayong squatters forever at ang sunod nyong pasahero ay holdaper.

...i hate glorietta!
tae! kaya ayoko ng nagpupunta dun eh. hindi ko nakabisado EVER ang pasikut-sikot sa lugar na yun. nahirapan ako sumakay ng taxi dahil hindi ko alam kung saan ang maraming dumadaan. nagpaulan ako dahil kailangan kong tumawid from one building to another. at nahirapan akong hanapin ang sakayan ng bus pauwi when i finally gave up on the taxis. grrr!

...may "barkada" ba?
ewan. sensitive issue. pero naman, kaya ako pupunta ng harbor square dahil gusto ko tumoma. yun na lang eh, la na ako pake kung sino kasama basta malasing lang. i need booze! shet, kahit hindi talaga ako kailangan dun sa crowd. basta makainom lang kasama ang mga pakawalang tao, go na! haha.

...binabasa pala "niya" ang blog ko!
omg! buti na lang hindi ako nagrarant dito tungkol sa kanya. haha. pero hindi naman ako nagrant ever eh. tsaka ang tagal na nun. utang na loob!

...yesterday gave me hell on Earth!

~ ~ ~
isshouni asobo!

rule number 1

2006-05-05T13:12:00.000+08:00

ang sakit ng mga mata. gusto ko pang matulog. kasi naman, nagpunta dito sila del, jemar, yoanna, cess, ck, wawi, harold, chris at jun. dumayo pa ng pasig sa ngalan ng toma hahaha.

kasi raw, dapat ang intention ng gathering na ito ay isang seryosong usapan. pero may mga, "pare, pagkatapos nito, yosi muna 'tayo' sa labas." pero hindi ko rin naman sila masisisi kasi kami meron ding "ayun, dun ka muna. may pinaguusapan kami."

aargh. basta nakakainis. nung bandang huli, may mga chika pang "ano ang rule number 1 ng 'barkada'?" BARKADA? so barkada tayo. ganito ba yun? bakit parang ambabaw ng samahan tapos barkada agad. ni hindi ko nga kilala ng lubusan ang karamihan sa mga taong kasama ko eh.

nakakaiyak. promise. gusto kong umiyak. natatakot na akong umiyak sa harap nila kasi....ewan. may something. pero handa naman akong sasbihin ang lahat ng gusto nilang malaman. kahit na alam kong magbabago sila, lalo na siya, kapag nalaman nila. yung treatment, magbabago.

ang rule number 1: "walang taluhan sa barkada...." oo nga. sige na, sige na. kaya nga inuubos ko na kung anong meron akong gusto sa kanya eh. kamuntik pa nga mabuksan yung secret folder ko. tae. alam ko na tuloy ang feeling ng "run for your life" at "ctrl+alt+delete for your life."

leche talaga. pero kung may chance man na ibibigay sa akin. at alam kong tama ang moment. sasabihin ko naman eh. para matapos na. tsaka malay mo, baka mamatay na ng tuluyan kung ano mang pagkagusto ang meron ako sa kanya. tangina, pag nasa dagat kasi eh napaka-hot nya. leche. yun pala, pag nasa dagat lang. hindi na masyado kapag nasa syudad na. hahaha.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

april 27

2006-04-27T16:42:00.000+08:00

isang araw na halu-halong emosyon ang nakapaloob. may malungkot may masaya.
malungkot kasi naramdaman ko ang lungkot ng isang kaibigan. at ang masama pa roon ay pinili niyang pumunta sa lugar kung saan alam naman niyang masasaktan siya. shet.
masaya dahil nakilala ko ang mga taong akala ko'y ayaw sa akin. kahit na hindi naman lahat sila ay nakakausap ko, naniniwala akong mababait naman silang tao. hehe.

masaya dahil may nakuha ako. hahaha. masaya dahil may matagal na usap, kahit na naputol at hindi naman talaga natapos ang pinag-uusapan. hehehe.

~ ~ ~

basta, ang gulo. sana maulit.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

Loop

2006-04-25T10:49:00.000+08:00

~ ~ ~

If the Earth was flat, we would have never met.
We were running far to be away from each other.
Never slowing down eventhough we so far apart now.
While going in a loop, we just might face each other again.

kanta ulit

2006-04-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

minsan pa,
nang ako'y papalayo,
hindi ko alam na ika'y tutugon
sa mga tanong na aking nabitawan
hindi ko alam na ito'y totoo

pangarap ka,
sa bawat sandali
langit man ang tingin ko sayo sana'y marating...

hanggang dito nlng yata,
ang kaya kong gawin
pangarap nalang
at bumulong sa hangin
kailan kaya
darating muli
ang isang sandali
na akoy lilingon muli

pangarap ka
o tinig mong kay lambing
ang iyong mga ngiti'y
na sa akin ay nakapag bigay pansin
ngunit ikaw ba ay isang pangarap lang.....

pangarap ka o tinig mong kay lambing
ang iyong mga ngiti'y na sa akin ay nakapag bigay

pangarap ka o tinig mong kay lambing
ang iyong mga ngiti'y na sa akin ay nakapag bigay pansin......

pangarap ka sa bawat sandali..

pangarap ka…

~ ~ ~
at least, kahit man lang sa pangarap, kasama kita. :)

hajimete kimi to shabetta

2006-04-24T09:03:00.000+08:00

"the first time we spoke"

hajimete kimi to shabetta kimi wa waratte kureta
hajimete kimi to shabereta boku no kono kotoba de

boku nanka ga shaberi kaketara meiwaku ni omou ka na
sonna fuan o kakaete yuuki o dashite mita yo
umaku shaberenai boku no fukiyou na hanashi
kimi wa mimi o sorasazu ni chanto kiite kureta yo

sore dake de boku wa mai agatteru no sa
fushigi na chikara ga karada o tsutsunderu kanji ima dake sa dakedo

*hajimete kimi to shabetta kimi wa waratte kureta
hajimete kimi to shabereta boku no kono kotoba de
hajimete kimi to shabetta kimi wa waratte kureta
hajimete kimi to shabereta boku no kono kotoba de*

kotoba wa itsudemo boku o kurushimete bakari
dakedo sukutte kureru no mo itsumo kotoba datta yo
dareka ni warawareta-tte kanawanai no sa
kimi to shabereta jijitsu ga boku ni wa tsuiteru kara

sore dake de boku wa ukarete shimau no sa
dakedo kimi wa boku nante nantomo omottenai yo ne setsunai yo

dakedo

*Repeat*

hajimete kimi to shabetta
hajimete kimi to shabereta

~ ~ ~

the first time i spoke to you, you introduced yourself to me and held out your hand. thanks for it. :)

mixed feelings...

2006-04-23T11:17:00.000+08:00

may mga bagay sa buhay ko na alam kong nagtapos na.
yung iba dun, ok lang na mawala, hindi gaanong masakit.
yung iba naman, parang soooobrang bigat sa puso. dahil napaka laking bahagi na ito ng buhay ko.
nasasaktan ako kasi gusto ko pang makasama makahalubilo yung ibang tao.
hay.
alam ko naman nalahat ng bagay ay may katapusan. at siguro ito na nga ang katapusan nun para sa akin.
natuldukan na, sana ay hindi niya ako makalimutan. dahil sigurado akong hindi kita makakalimutan, Plaridel.

~ ~ ~

sana balang araw ay magkita tayong muli. at kapag dumating ang araw na yun ay sana magkausap tayo ng maayos at maging kaibigan kita.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

april 12

2006-04-13T01:53:00.000+08:00

things happened, and i know my heart wants it.

i may not be able to reciprocate the same amount of feeling that he is giving. but i know that i will be able to in the future.

i guess, i am learning not to compare.

~ ~ ~

let's fade together?
i think it's for the better. so let us.

~ ~ ~
isshouni asobo!

salamats! :)

2006-04-05T11:09:00.000+08:00

bigay sa akin ni fritz. :)

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

gusto ko manood ng sine....

2006-04-04T02:18:00.000+08:00

gusto kong panoorin ung....

...just friends!

...

...

...

...

hahaha.....shet.
~ ~ ~

note to self:
remember april 3. the day when something started. the day you verified to yourself, haha. although you are SURE that no one would approve. :)

galing na naman kay wenk. hehe.

2006-04-02T12:25:00.000+08:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Peter!

About 100 people choke to death on peter each year!
Peter is the sacred animal of Thailand!
Never store peter at room temperature.
A lump of peter the size of a matchbox can be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court.
If you lie on your back with your legs stretched it is impossible to sink in peter.
Some birds use peter to orientate themselves during migration.
Europe is the only continent that lacks peter.
If you kiss peter for one minute you will burn six or seven calories!
Peter is actually a fruit, not a vegetable.
The Australian billygoat plum contains a hundred times more Vitamin C than peter.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Christian peter!

Plato believed that the souls of melancholy people would be reincarnated into christian peter.
In the 1600s, tobacco was frequently prescribed to treat headaches, bad breath and christian peter.
On stone temples in southern India, there are more than 30 million carved images of christian peter!
If every star in the Milky Way was a grain of salt they would fill christian peter.
While performing her duties as queen, Cleopatra sometimes dressed up as christian peter!
Louisa May Alcott, author of 'Little Christian peter', hated christian peter and only wrote the book at her publisher's request.
It is impossible to fold christian peter more than seven times!
Two grams of christian peter provide enough energy to power a television for over twenty-three hours!
Humans share about fifty percent of their DNA with christian peter!
Only one child in twenty will be born on the day predicted by christian peter.

sometime, somewhere

2006-03-30T13:27:00.000+08:00

We speak but the words we say mean nothing.
We smile but the smiles we give are wanting.
We look upon each other's eyes, no spark
No glow, no real signs, but we both know
This is all for show

Until that sometime, somewhere,
We could show the world we have each other
Sometime, somewhere we need not hide out feelings,
We just keep on believing that we both have the time together
Sometime and somewhere, our lips would be free at last
You say the words we've hungered to say

And we won't have to worry, we smile we won't say sorry
One look and we have cast our fears aside.
Sometime, that sometime will turn to forever, for all time.
Somewhere, our somewhere would not be just one place,
But everywhere

Until that sometime, somewhere,
We just have to be content with stealing glances
Somehow, content with saying nothing, smiles that are
Always wanting. Though deep inside it hurts
Because we know that our love, like love,
Is what it is, it's what we got
Our love, like love will have to wait
Until that sometime, somewhere

~ ~ ~

a poem that i got from a friend. though it was VERY unusual for him to mail me something like this. hmm....

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

nbi clearance

2006-03-29T00:48:00.000+08:00

finally! i was able to get over my procrastinating in getting an NBI clearance. actually, i renewed my clearance so the process got a little less longer. but still, i was standing in line for TWO AND A HALF HOURS! my poor ankles.

~ ~ ~

im going to seton tomorrow, and go to cover again to help in the layout. tomorrow's supposed to be the announcement of plaridel's section editors, but sadly it was moved. guess ill have to contain my excitement for two more days.

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo!

nakushita kotoba

2006-03-28T00:32:00.000+08:00

one thought, one though, thinking back
we were winning everything
you were asking me
rushed words
were left right by my side
an unanswered night
pieces of man were extracted, leaking
far away admiration
repeating only that
that's why i am alive
what can be measured by both of these hands
a droplet of time
slowly closing shut
forgotten memories
lost words

~ ~ ~

isshouni asobo